Safe & Sound
by AndreeaRaducan
Summary: "The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it" - C.C. Scott. Will finds a strength he never knew he had when he is diagnosed with terminal leukaemia - the unbreakable love between his family. **Nominated for Best Angst in the 2012 Profiler's Choice Awards on Chit Chat on Author's Corner**
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is sad, but I've had this idea for a while now. I am doing research on the topic, but forgive me if I get any facts wrong.**

**Rated T for language and themes.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

William LaMontagne Jr sat under the huge oak tree in the park, looking up at the rapidly darkening sky above him.

'It's gonna rain soon,' he thought, but he made no effort to move. His body was numb. Numb with shock, numb with fear...and numb with sadness.

The news his doctor had just told him had been too much to take at once. His wife, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau, had had to rush off to the pharmacy after her 'monthly visitor' caught her off guard, leaving Will to go to his doctor's appointment alone while Henry was at a friend's house.

After the doctor had broken the news to him, he had tried to discuss many different things. Probably important, too. But the weight of the devastating blow had hung off of Will's shoulders like a loaded down backpack, and he'd felt as though the walls were closing in.

Cutting the doctor off, he'd bolted out of doctor's office, got in the car, and drove away as fast as he dared.

Too numb to cry.

Too numb to think.

He just drove until he found somewhere quiet.

Will couldn't comprehend how his doctor had never picked this up before. He'd had a blood test a year earlier, after he was shot by that madman in the bank. His doctor had explained that it had progressed excessively quickly, and the fact that he'd been feeling pretty damn sick for a couple of months was the calling card.

It was awful to think, that after JJ had nearly lost him a year ago to a bunch of crazed bomber bank robbers, she really _was_ going to lose him now.

After all, that was what end stage acute myelogenous leukaemia did to a person.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm hoping the second part of this chapter isn't too extreme, but it sets it up well for next chapter. Bear with me.**

**Disclaimer: See last.**

* * *

The next few days were agony for Will. He had no idea how to break the news to JJ. How does someone go about telling their wife that in six months, she'll be a widow?

Every time Will thought he could say something, he would notice how happy JJ was, and couldn't bring himself to tell her. It was eating away at his insides. He was praying that his doctor would call him and tell him it was all a huge mistake, that the test had been done on someone else's unfortunate vial of blood.

But he knew, deep down, that sooner or later, he was going to have to tell JJ, because no amount of denial would change the test result. And his chance came exactly a week after receiving the devastating news.

Sitting on the couch, Will had his hands clasped tightly as he rested on his knees. Tonight. He'd tell her tonight.

"You've been very quiet these past couple of days," JJ said softly as she re-entered the lounge room after putting Henry to bed. "Everything ok?"

Looking up, Will knew it was now or never. "Actually...cher, there's...there's somethin' we gotta talk about"

JJ frowned, but looked genuinely concerned as she sat down beside him. She watched him closely as he tried to find the right words to say.

"The other day...at the doctor's...I...," he started, faltering. How could he do this? How could he say it in the gentlest way possible? "I got my blood test back"

When he turned to look at her, he could see that she was trying to put it together. Her worry was evident on her face. He gave her a weak smile as she reached over and took his hand.

"What is it, Will?" she almost whispered.

Taking a deep breath, Will knew he just had to say it. The sooner he told her, the more time she would have to process it. "My white blood count was extremely high..."

When he looked into her eyes again, his heart sank. JJ had read her fair share of Jodi Picoult novels. She didn't have to be a doctor to know what that meant. And while she hadn't said anything, he could tell that she'd figured it out.

"Leukaemia, JJ. I have cancer," he choked out. His chest tightened and tears threatened to spill over; saying it out loud made it real. Saying it out loud allowed him to feel the emotions threatening to crash over him like a tidal wave.

Beside him, JJ was frozen in shock, her eyes wide and bright, her hand over her mouth as she tried to comprehend what he had just said. Slowly, she lowered her hand back down to her lap, keeping a tight grip on Will's hand with her other. They sat in fear filled silence for nearly ten minutes, not moving, not looking at each other, before JJ finally spoke.

"How bad?" she whispered. Will turned to look at her, fighting off the tears that welled in his eyes when he took in her expression of fear. This was the next bit he'd wanted to put off...

"End stage," he said simply, taking a deep breath as he finished speaking. JJ's breath caught in her throat, tears spilling over her lower lashes and making heartbroken tracks down her pale skin. She dropped her face, looking down at the floor as though trying to hide her emotion. But it was no use.

Will reached out, tipping her chin up, deciding to lay all the cards on the table at once. That way, they could begin to deal with it straightaway. "I only have about six months, cher, seven if I'm lucky," he explained, his voice cracking on the last word. The tears he'd fought back came crashing through, cascading down his cheeks. The last time he'd cried was when Henry had slipped from JJ's body and entered the world...

"Is there a treatment...there has to be something? Right? Something that can...give you longer, or-"

"JayJay," Will said softly, drawling her name the way she loved. Faltering, JJ buried her face in his shoulder, sobbing the heartbroken tears of a soon to be widow. Wrapping his arms around her, Will buried his face in against the curve of her neck, taking in the sweet strawberry smell of her hair.

* * *

It was like a tsunami. When one wave ended, another one came. Utterly devastating.

That was how JJ felt when Henry went over to the next door neighbour's upon invitation, and Will went for a walk, claiming he really needed to clear his head before they could properly discuss the new burden in their lives.

Leaning heavily against the kitchen counter, JJ stared unblinkingly ahead, her bright blue eyes red rimmed and filled with tears. Ever since Will had broken the news to her the night before, all she'd done was cry. She hadn't had time to feel anything but shock and despair.

But now, she was on her own, and all the feelings she'd tried to suppress were rising up inside her like horse rearing on its hind legs.

Fighting the urge to scream and yell, JJ pushed off the counter, turning in a circle and taking a deep breath. She thought about what she could do. She could pray...

And that was the end of her composure.

Swinging out, she sent the dishes she'd been planning on putting away crashing to the floor. Storming through the dining room, tears cascading down her cheeks as she sobbed her frustration, she barely registered shoving one of the chairs aside in her path. Toppling over, the chair clattered to the floor as JJ shoved a stack of paper off the end of the table, watching as the sheets fluttered into the air and drifted to the tiles.

Running her hand through her hair, she swung around, shoving open their bedroom door.

"Why! Why does it have to be Will!" she screamed to no-one in particular, throwing her arm out and sending a collection of photos from their dresser crashing to the floor. Despite the fact that the room was carpet, the glass shattered from the impact, littering the soft flooring, creating a snowfall over the adrift photos from the frames.

Collapsing to her knees momentarily, JJ cried out in pain as the palm of her hand sliced across a large piece of glass. Pulling herself up, she didn't even have time to register what object was in her hand before she sent her phone flying across the room. She found that she couldn't care less if it broke. Grabbing the nearest unbroken photo frame, she hurled it at the opposite wall, not even flinching when the glass showered down onto the floor. "It's not FAIR!" she screamed.

She could barely comprehend the fact that she was losing him. She felt like her whole world was spinning out of control, and she was powerless to stop it.

Taking deep breaths that were evident of anger, she moved into the bathroom, ignoring the blood smeared across her hand. In one clean swipe, she knocked a few bottles of perfume to the floor, leaning heavily against the sink. Looking in the mirror, she caught sight of a complete stranger. Her eyes were red and swollen, tears staining tracks down her cheeks. Her hair was dishevelled, and the section hanging in front of her face was a little bloodstained from grabbing her hair with her injured hand.

Turning away, her hands blindly grabbed onto something. Pulling away, she pulled a pile of folded clothes to the floor as she retreated to the bedroom. Staggering through the destruction, she collapsed to the floor on the far side of the bed, her back to the door. Sitting against the bed, she drew her knees up to her chest and took deep breaths as she tried to come to terms with the drastic turn her life had taken.

And she wasn't even the one who was sick.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ok, if it seems like Will has come to terms with his fate too quickly, it's not supposed to. I really struggled with this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

Will closed the gate behind him as he walked up to the front door. He could see Kate, Henry, and Alicia playing in Kate's lounge room through the front window. The image brought a smile to his tired face. Even so, it pained him to know that he wasn't going to see Henry grow up, see him go to prom, graduate, get married...

Shaking the thoughts away, he climbed the step up to the front door, and stepped into the house. The first thing he noticed was that it was dead silent. Normally, JJ would have the TV on, the radio playing, and be on her laptop at the same time; Will had never been able to understand that.

Moving through the lounge room, it didn't take him long to find the kitchen in disarray.

"What the hell?" he muttered, looking around at the mess before him. Smashed dishes, the overturned chair, and paper everywhere.

"JJ?" he called out, moving around the table. Looking up, he saw that the bedroom door was half open. Through the gap, he could see that the bedroom was in a worse state than the kitchen.

Making a beeline for the door, he pushed it open. At first glance, he couldn't see JJ, only the smashed glass of the photo frames, the blood on the carpet, and JJ's phone lying below the window. Turning his attention towards the bed, he noticed the top of JJ's ponytail where she was slumped against the mattress.

"JayJay...," he said softly, stepping through the destruction to where she was sitting. Sliding down beside her, he noticed the blood smeared across her right hand.

"Oh God...I'm sorry," JJ choked out, her red, swollen eyes filled with more tears. Will shook his head.

"Don't be sorry. It's ok," he said gently.

"No...you're the one that's sick...I'm supposed to be the one comforting you," JJ corrected, reaching for the box of tissues on the bedside table. Grabbing a couple, she wiped her eyes and nose, before tossing them into the wastepaper basket beside the bed.

"What happened to your hand?" Will asked softly, noting the deep cut on the palm of her right hand.

"Oh...I cut it...on the glass," JJ explained tearfully.

"Well...let's get you cleaned up, ok? Then we really need to talk about this," Will offered seriously. JJ nodded. Standing up, Will reached down and lifted JJ into his arms, realising that it took more effort than he remembered.

"What are you doing?" JJ asked softly as he walked towards the door.

"There's broken stuff everywhere, and you have no shoes on," Will pointed out. He carried her to the kitchen table, where he let her sit down while he grabbed the first aid kit from above the fridge.

JJ sat in silence as Will's gentle hands cleaned and dressed her injury. She watched, wincing slightly, as he cleaned the cut with an alcohol wipe, and then covered it with a large plaster, before wrapping a bandage around her palm. When he was done, he lifted her hand and pressed a gentle kiss to her palm, barely touching it. Taking it softly between his hands, so as not to hurt her, Will leant forward, looking right into his wife's piercing blue eyes.

"JayJay...you wanna tell me what happened?" he persuaded softly. JJ took a deep breath, glancing around the room before she began to speak.

"I just...since last night...everything just built up, and got to the point where I felt like I was going to explode...it all came out at once, and the next thing I knew...I was sitting on the floor with blood all over my hands," she said softly, avoiding his eyes. Reaching out, Will tipped her chin up.

"I can tell you're feelin' guilty about it. Don't. It's alright to break down," he said reassuringly. JJ let out a choked sob, tears spilling over her lower lashes as she looked down at the table top again.

"But that's why I feel so guilty, because by doing this, I made it all about me, and it's not, it's about you-"

Will cut off her tearful rambling by standing up and pulling her into a hug. Holding her close as her body shook with grieving sobs, he fought off the thought that he wasn't going to feel JJ in his arms for much longer.

"JayJay...this is incredibly hard for both of us. We're gonna lose each other...as hard as that is to say, it's the truth. I can't deny it any longer," Will said softly, running his fingers through her long blonde hair. JJ pulled away, tears streaking her pretty face.

"I don't want it to be true...," she trailed off. Will pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, detecting the salt of her tears.

"We'll get through this," he whispered against her lips. JJ pulled away a little, looking into his eyes.

"We need to explain this to Henry"

* * *

Henry sat in Will's lap, his long blonde hair flopping over his eyes as he played with one of his many toys. JJ was sitting right next to them, trying to fight back tears for the countless time in the last 24 hours.

Explaining to a four year old that his Daddy was going to die was not something JJ and Will had ever imagined they would end up doing.

But here they were.

"Henry...buddy, Momma and I need to talk to you about somethin' very important, ok?" Will said gently. Henry looked up at his father, his childhood innocence shining through his baby blue eyes as he nodded. JJ leaned forward, tipping her baby's chin up so that he could see her properly.

"Sweetie, you know how Daddy hasn't been feeling very well?" she said softly. Henry nodded, the toy now held loosely in his hands.

"Well...I went to the doctor's last week...and he told me that I'm very sick," Will explained as simply as possible. Henry frowned, tipping his face up so that he could see his daddy.

"You vewy sick? Wif a cough?" he asked innocently. JJ swallowed thickly to fight off the lump forming in her throat.

"Buddy, you remember Gabriella? From your class?" she asked, trying to find another way to explain the situation to their little angel.

"Gab'iella was sick. She had no hair. Like Uncle Morgan," Henry replied immediately. As sombre as the moment was, JJ and Will had to smile.

In that split second, Henry seemed to be connecting the dots. Daddy was sick, and Mommy was talking about Gabriella..."She turned into a angel and went to Heaven...are you gonna go to Heaven, Daddy?"

JJ burst into tears as soon as the words had left Henry's mouth. Getting up, she left the room in search of tissues. Henry watched his mother's retreating back, a bewildered expression on his face. Turning to Will for answers, he looked straight into his father's eyes.

"Why is Mommy sad?"

Will took a deep breath. "Because I'm gonna go to Heaven"

This was enough for Henry to understand. Stretching up, Henry put his arms around Will's neck, latching on tightly, not ever wanting to let go.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for reading guys! I'm going to try and get Chapter 5 up ASAP...hopefully tonight!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

Will sat on the edge of the bed he shared with JJ, one of their many family photos clutched in his hand. The three of them were lying in the grass in the backyard, Henry between his parents, all adorning huge smiles as JJ stretched up to take the photo. Will was looking towards his beautiful wife, mesmerised by her beauty. The memory captured there was one of a fun, happy time, instead of a posed, perfect picture.

Running his thumb over the edge of the frame, Will stood up and crossed over to the window. Looking into the backyard, he watched as JJ and Henry played soccer, laughing softly as Henry picked up the ball and raced across the yard, JJ hot on his tail.

Then, much to his surprise, he felt the hot drops running down his cheeks. And with one choked sob, he had collapsed against the wall, sliding to the floor as the emotion he'd held in for days all came pouring out in one fell swoop.

In six months, JJ would be a widow. At thirty-three. With a four year old child.

Henry would grow up without his father there to help him through the toughest of times.

And he would be gone.

Will knew he'd miss out on all those things that parents look forward to; Henry's first girlfriend, his sixteenth birthday, graduation...the list was endless.

He was so oblivious to his surroundings that he didn't even notice when Henry came into the room.

"Daddy, don't be sad," the little boy said innocently, plopping himself in Will's lap. Putting his arms up around Will's neck, he buried his face in his father's shoulder. Will let the tears fall as he clutched his precious son to his chest, wishing that he would be able to see the man he would one day become.

"Why are you sad?" Henry asked gently, pulling back so that he could see his daddy's face.

"'Cause I'm gonna miss you and your momma so much," Will choked out. Another pair of arms wrapped around him, and then JJ's head was resting against his shoulder.

"Please don't cry...please," she whispered, her voice filled with heartbreaking sadness. In an instant, the happiness she and Henry had shown while running around in the backyard was gone, replaced by grieving sorrow, a feeling of despair that would never fully leave them.

They sat like that for hours, curled up against the wall as Will cried for the life he so desperately wanted to keep, until well after the blood red sun had sunk below the horizon.

* * *

"You have a few options for treatment...but they would only prolong your disease. There is no cure at this stage...like I said last time, the cancer has progressed far too quickly, and far too aggressively," Dr Ramsell said gently. Will nodded, swallowing thickly as JJ squeezed his hand tightly. Henry was playing on the other side of the room, oblivious to the sombre discussion his parents were partaking in.

"What are the options?" JJ asked softly, her deep blue eyes evident of fear. Fear of what lay ahead.

"Well, your best three options for treatment would be chemotherapy-"

"No. I'm not havin' any chemo," Will cut in defiantly. JJ turned sharply to look at him.

"Will-"

"I'm not havin' it. I've seen what it does to people, it leaves 'em sick and tired for a long time afterwards. I don' wanna spend my last months feelin' even worse than I do now," Will explained. A silence hung over them before Dr Ramsell cleared his throat.

"Ok then. That leaves you with two more options. A bone marrow transplant is your best chance of prolonging your life for as long as possible, but it will leave you incapacitated for twice as long as the chemo, as well as up to six weeks in isolation after the procedure. Not to mention you have to run a course of chemo prior to the transplant, to ensure that there is the possible amount of cancer cells in your body," he told the couple before him. Will shook his head.

"No. I wanna make the most of the time I have left. Not spend it in a damn hospital," he said softly. JJ's eyes were brimming with tears. _'Please let him take the third option'_ she was silently pleading.

"That leaves radiation therapy. The side effects are significantly less compared to chemotherapy and BMT's. It would give you another month, maybe two," Dr Ramsell offered. When Will didn't immediately reply, JJ felt a glimmer of hope, something that was alien to her after the couple of days they'd had.

"What are the side effects?" Will asked.

"It depends on the person, but you could experience nausea, vomiting, headaches, various aches and pains, and fatigue. Those are the basic, most common symptoms, but like I said, it varies with each patient," Dr Ramsell explained, flipping through his folder as he spoke.

"How does it work?" JJ chipped in.

"Well, Will, you would lie on a table, and you would be strapped down so you wouldn't be able to move. The radiation would be administered somewhere in your abdomen, probably your spleen, which also means you wouldn't lose your hair as a side effect," Dr Ramsell informed them, holding up a diagram to show them where the radiation would most likely be administered. "The side effects would last for a much shorter amount of time, and you would gain a month or so from the treatment"

Will sat in silence as he contemplated his options. With no treatment, he had five months, six tops, to spend with his family. With either chemo or a BMT, he would gain a couple of extra months, but lose two, maybe even three, to recovering from the treatments, robbing him of precious hours with JJ and Henry. With radiation, he had a shorter recovery time, less nasty side effects, and maybe an extra two months with his family. Even if he didn't gain those precious weeks, he would've tried.

It was worth the risk.

"Radiation," he said softly, so quietly that JJ barely heard him.

"Sorry?" Dr Ramsell asked, leaning forward.

"I'll go with the radiation therapy. It's worth a shot, right?" Will countered. Dr Ramsell nodded, satisfied with his patient's choice, settling back in his chair. JJ gripped Will's hand tightly. When he looked into her eyes, Will could see that she was grateful he'd chosen a treatment.

He was, after all, fighting to stay with them.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Johnny Depp is a genius, and I can't watch this movie without craving sugar.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM or any of it's characters.**

* * *

Will lay motionless on the table, his eyes fixed on the machinery above him. He knew JJ was standing on the other side of the protective glass, her red rimmed eyes brimming with tears.

He hated seeing her cry. Every time a tear slid down her beautiful face, his heart cracked in two. Even if they were happy tears.

In the past three weeks, she'd cried so much, Will was surprised she had any moisture left in her. Even so, he didn't blame her. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to curse God for handing him this unlucky deal in life. But the three times he'd shed tears, JJ had burst into tears as well.

It was a never ending cycle of grief.

As the first beam of radiation was sent pulsing into his abdomen, Will felt his chest tighten.

This was it. This was reality.

With each beam of rays that passed into his body, Will knew that this only cemented his fate. Up until this moment, he'd been pretending that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. But now, he was going to have to accept the fact.

Healthy people didn't need gamma radiation. Only people who, inside themselves, were fighting a losing battle, needed gamma radiation.

In that moment, the full reality of his situation hit him. He'd known all along. This just made it sink in fully.

He was going to die.

* * *

JJ held a cold towel to the back of Will's neck as he violently expelled the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl. Dr Ramsell had informed them that the side effects probably wouldn't set in until after the fourth treatment, but Will had only had two rounds of radiation.

He heaved again, his body lurching forward as his stomach rebelled against him with brute force. JJ grimaced; she didn't normally have a strong stomach. The only exceptions were the things she saw every day, and when Henry had spit up as a baby.

Collapsing back against the bathroom wall, Will accepted the glass of water JJ was holding out to him, taking a long sip as he attempted to get the acrid taste of vomit out of his mouth. Setting the glass down, he tipped his head back against the wall tiles, appreciating the cool feeling on his skin. He felt JJ slide her hand into his and give it a comforting squeeze.

"Come on. You'll feel better if you lie down," she said softly. Will looked at her tiredly. The radiation in his body consumed all of his energy before he even had the chance to feel awake. Dr Ramsell had said it would get better, he would eventually have more energy, but as the cancer worsened, he would definitely feel much worse.

Allowing her to pull his exhausted body off the floor, Will shuffled back into the bedroom, where he collapsed onto the mattress. He felt completely wiped out. Maybe some sleep would help...

* * *

When Will opened his eyes, the sun was setting. His stomach wasn't churning as much and his mind was a lot clearer. Wondering how long he'd been asleep for, he pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked at the clock, his eyes managing to focus on the three digital numbers.

_5:08_

Flinging the covers back and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, Will realised JJ had been right. He _did_ feel a little better after some sleep. Even so, he sat on the edge of the mattress for a moment, his head hung as he gathered his thoughts.

Will pulled himself to his feet, moving to the doorway of their bedroom. Henry's voice was floating down the hallway as he chatted to JJ, who was laughing and agreeing with whatever Henry was saying.

Running a hand through his hair, he shuffled down the hallway and into the kitchen. Henry was sitting at the table with some paper and crayons, while JJ made dinner.

"Daddy!" Henry said excitedly, jumping off of his chair and accidentally flinging his crayon across the kitchen. JJ caught it before it could land in the pasta, turning around and smiling as Henry hugged Will tightly.

"Hey buddy. What are you drawin'?" Will asked, lifting Henry up to his hip.

"I dunno," Henry shrugged, making JJ and Will laugh as JJ walked over to join her boys.

"You don' know? How are you supposed to draw if you don' know what you're drawin'?" Will teased. Henry giggled, squirming down to the ground. Will let him go, his gaze lingering on his little boy as he watched him run back to the table.

"How do you feel?" JJ asked softly, taking his hands in hers.

"A bit better," Will replied truthfully.

"Do you think you'll be able to keep dinner down?"

Will grinned. "I think so, cher," he said softly, kissing her cheek. JJ smiled, but her eyes were filled with concern, and even a hint of sadness, which went unnoticed by Will.

* * *

JJ lay against Will's chest, her flat hand resting over his heart. They were both sated, covered in a thin layer of sweat from the passion they'd just shared.

"I can't believe I managed to stay awake cher. You sure are tirin'," Will teased, his voice just above a whisper. JJ lifted her head, kissing the edge of his jaw softly.

"Sorry," she whispered, her blue eyes bright in the moonlight streaming through the gap in the curtains.

"'S' alright. It was fun anyway. I love you," Will replied, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.

"I love you too," JJ replied, smiling as he leaned up towards her. Kissing her lips softly, Will closed his eyes as he savoured the moment. This was how he wanted his life to end. Not in a hospital bed attached to various machines and IV drips. In his own bed, in JJ and Henry's arms. He wanted sweet kisses, Henry's baby soft skin, and the scent of JJ's strawberry shampoo as his final memories.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter sees the beginning of accepting.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

"The radiation has achieved what we hoped for. It's given you roughly another six weeks on top of your initial prognosis," Dr Ramsell said optimistically. "How's the nausea and fatigue?"

"Gettin' better. 'S definitely not as bad as it was before," Will replied, his voice thick. He ran his hand over the top of Henry's hair, glancing down at the little boy who was happily seated in his lap. "So I have how long now?"

"About seven months. At the time of your diagnosis, you had six. It's been a month since then; the radiation has given you another six weeks on top of the remaining five. So, almost seven. Basically, what the radiation did was prolong the onset of the next stage," Ramsell explained.

"What's the next stage?" JJ asked softly, looking straight into the doctor's eyes.

"The next stage will onset not long from now. Maybe in a month or two, three if you're lucky. Your organs will slowly start to fail. It'll probably start with your spleen and liver, leaving you feeling sore, a little nauseous, and a little jaundiced as well. Your kidneys will most likely go next," Ramsell said gently. Will exhaled heavily, dropping his face briefly before looking back up at the doctor.

"What should I expect?"

"As I said before, you will feel nauseous, probably a bit sore from your liver and spleen being enlarged, and your skin may be jaundiced as your liver fails. When your kidneys go, the symptoms get worse. The most common ones are nosebleeds, bruising, internal bleeding, coughing up blood, rectal bleeding, and fatigue," Ramsell replied. JJ squeezed Will's hand, turning to him and giving him a comforting expression as Henry slipped off of his lap to go and play with the toys in the corner.

"It'll be alright. We'll get through this together," she said softly, her voice wavering.

"Will, you're very lucky-"

"Lucky? How the hell am I lucky?" Will exclaimed, jumping up. "I've got seven months to live, goddamn it! I'm never gonna see my kid grow up, I won't get to spend the rest of JJ's life makin' her happy, in fact, I'm gonna be the cause of her biggest heartbreak! And you're sittin' here, tryin' to tell me I'm friggin' lucky?"

"Will-" JJ half pleaded, trying to get him to face her. Will shook free of her grasp, placing his hands flat on Dr Ramsell's desk and looking the doctor straight in the eye.

"I'm fuckin' dyin'! My boy is gonna grow up without his father, and YOU sit here, perfectly healthy, and try to convince me that everythin's gonna be ok, when it's not! I just...I just want my fuckin' life back!" he exclaimed, pushing away from the desk and falling in a heap in the middle of the room, tears streaming down his face. JJ fell to her knees beside him, pulling him into her embrace. Henry, who had sat wide eyed through the whole thing, hesitantly approached his daddy, gently putting his little arms around him as best he could.

JJ looked up at Dr Ramsell, giving him an apologetic look. Waving it off, Dr Ramsell made his way over to the family, holding out a box of tissues. JJ took a small handful, pressing them into Will's hand.

It took a few minutes, but Will pulled himself together enough to speak. "I'm sorry Doc...it's just so hard to comprehend"

"It's quite alright. I've had much, much worse. One of my patients tried to beat me to death with that skeleton," Dr Ramsell said lightly, pointing to a model skeleton on the window sill. Will chuckled weakly as he pulled himself off the floor, JJ holding his hand tightly as she watched him with concern. They made their way back to the chairs in front of Ramsell's desk, sitting down as they gathered themselves once more. Henry climbed into JJ's lap, watching his daddy wearily as he clutched to his stuffed panda.

"Will, you may only have seven months left. But, from what I can tell, you have a wonderful wife, and a strong little boy who are going to be by your side no matter what," Ramsell said warmly. Will smiled weakly, his wet eyes shining as he turned to look at JJ.

"Yeah, they're both pretty amazin'. I'm lucky to have them," he said softly. JJ gave him a watery smile, squeezing his hand.

"You're not alone in this, Will. We're all here for you," Ramsell assured him with a friendly, but somewhat sombre smile. Will nodded, as Henry scooted across into his lap, holding out the stuffed panda.

"Daddy, Pandy p'otected me, now he p'otect you"

* * *

"Close your eyes!" JJ insisted as she pulled Will down the hallway to the kitchen.

"My eyes are closed, cher!" Will replied exasperatedly, chuckling as JJ tugged at his hand. Having woken up on the morning of his birthday to a 'special' surprise (a nude JJ sleeping on his chest), he was now being treated to another surprise.

"Keep them closed," JJ added as they came to a stop.

"Cher, they're as closed as they gonna get unless I'm dead," Will replied quickly, immediately regretting it. Grabbing JJ's hand, he spun around so that he wouldn't ruin her surprise, and opened his eyes to a very shocked expression on JJ's face. "Cher, I'm sorry...that was too soon"

"No, it's alright, it just caught me off guard," JJ whispered. "I have to face reality, Will. Bubble wrapping it for me is just going to make things harder"

Will pulled her into a hug. "Either way, I'm sorry. I still shouldn't have said that"

JJ pulled away and spun him around, revealing the pile of presents on the table, and Henry standing on a chair with his arms gesturing to the pile as he giggled.

"Woah. You really went all out this year," Will laughed. JJ smiled softly, pulling him towards the table.

"Well...I figured I might as well, seeing as you...you won't be here for it next year," she said gently, her eyes drifting to the ground. Will tipped her chin up.

"Now that's true, but today's a happy day, cher. Let's make the most of it," he said warmly, kissing her lips softly.

"EWW, Daddy, dat's gross!" Henry screeched, covering his eyes. JJ laughed as she pulled away, scooping Henry into her arms.

"Can I open them, Henry?" Will asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," Henry said with an exaggerated nod. Handing his daddy the topmost present, he giggled. "I help?"

"You sure can," Will laughed, holding out the present. Together, the three of them tore the paper off of each and every one of Will's birthday gifts.

* * *

Will's presents had been a mixture of jokes and serious gifts. The funniest one he'd opened had been a fluorescent green beanie with the words 'YES, I'M BALD' written across the front in bold black letters.

"JJ," he'd laughed. "I won't actually go bald, you know that?"

"Yeah, but I figured, buying a beanie to cover the baldness is like a rite of passage for cancer patients," she'd replied. Will had burst out laughing as he reached down and put the beanie on Henry's head. Then they had all laughed when Henry ran around in it for the rest of the day.

He'd also received a new watch, a Cowboys jacket, chocolate, boxers with innuendos printed on them, and the usual toiletries. But his favourite present had been the one that Henry had given to him last of all.

"Wow! Cher, this is great!" Will gushed as he slipped three VIP tickets to the next Cowboys vs the Redskins game in Washington out of an envelope.

"All three of us can go. Then Henry can decide for sure who he's going to support," JJ teased. Will grinned, slipping the tickets back inside the envelope as he got up and stuck them on the fridge with Henry's homemade magnet, which was supposed to be a character from Yo Gabba Gabba. But to JJ and Will, it looked like an orange blob.

Sitting back down, he pulled JJ into his arms as Henry turned on the TV to find some cartoons. "Thank you, JJ. I love everythin'. But I love you and Henry the most"

JJ leaned in and kissed him briefly. "Mmm, I love you too"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: The end is a bit rambly, but I just had to have a moment.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

With Will decked out in Cowboys gear, and JJ decked out in Redskins gear, they had teamed up to dress Henry...which resulted in Henry wearing a Redskins hat, a Cowboys scarf, and a foam finger that was nearly as big as him.

They walked hand in hand towards the stadium from the car park as Henry practically skipped along in front of them. He'd never been to a football game before, which meant he was very excited, and kept yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Mommy, Daddy, hurry up! We gonna be late!" he cried, making his parents laugh.

"No, we're not going to be late, you silly boy," JJ teased, grabbing Henry's hand to stop him from getting ahead. Henry giggled, falling into step beside Mommy as they reached the crosswalk into the stadium.

* * *

"Yes!" JJ exclaimed, leaping out of her seat and cheering wildly as the Redskins scored again. Will laughed. His wife was crazy.

"Havin' fun there, cher?" he teased. JJ sank back into her seat, grinning and kissing him briefly.

"You bet," she whispered.

"Mommy, my hat is falling! I can't see!" Henry whined. JJ looked to her other side, where Henry was seated, and had to laugh. His hat was indeed slipping over his eyes.

"Here, buddy, give it to me for a sec," she said, slipping it off of his head. Tightening the strap at the back, she put it back on his head backwards. "Wear it like this. Is that better?"

Henry nodded, happily waving his foam finger around as JJ settled in against Will's side. However, when the Cowboys scored again, she pulled away just in time.

"YEAH! Woo hoo!" Will cheered, leaping out of his seat just as JJ had.

They enjoyed the game as a family, with plenty of good natured teasing going on whenever opposing teams lost the point. Even though Will definitely enjoyed himself, JJ could see that by the end of the last quarter, he was visibly exhausted. He looked tired, and wasn't as chatty as he had been to begin with.

With a win by the Cowboys, which made Will's day and converted Henry to a Cowboys fan (but JJ had a feeling that if the Redskins had won, he would be proclaiming himself a Redskins fan), they made their way back home. Henry chatted about how cool football was the entire way, but only half of it actually sunk into JJ's brain.

She was too busy glancing at Will every now and then. He was resting his head against the cool glass of the window, and looked to be half asleep.

"Will? You ok?" she asked softly as they stopped at the traffic lights. Lifting his head, Will looked at her and nodded.

"Jus' tired. It's been a long day. But I had fun, cher. Thank you," he replied just as quietly, reaching over and squeezing her hand. JJ smiled back, letting go as the light changed to green.

* * *

JJ sat on the couch, staring into space, when Henry climbed into her lap and hugged her tight.

"Hey buddy. What's up?" she asked gently, kissing the top of his head.

"The sky," Henry giggled. JJ laughed, brushing his blonde hair out of his eyes.

"Cheeky monkey," she teased, tickling his sides. Henry laughed, squirming as he tried to get away from Mommy's slender fingers. JJ grinned, pinning him on the couch and tickling under his arms. Henry squealed with laughter as he tried to wriggle away, looking to his left and noticing Daddy standing in the space between the kitchen and the lounge room.

"Daddy! Help! Ah...help...me!" he squealed, gasping as he laughed. Will grinned, making a beeline for JJ and managing to pin her down to the couch.

"Quick Henry, run!" he exclaimed. Henry giggled, leaping off the couch and running out of the room.

"I'll tickle you if you're not careful," JJ threatened with a smile.

"You wouldn't, 'cause you know I'll get revenge...when you least expect it," Will said, leaning down and whispering in her ear. JJ shivered with anticipation as Will leant down and kissed her softly. He pulled away, smiling down at her, and then groaned as Henry flung himself onto his back.

"Horsie ride, horsie ride!" Henry exclaimed.

"I can't, buddy," Will said sadly, knowing how much Henry enjoyed something as simple as a piggyback.

"Why not?" Henry asked, sliding off onto the cushions.

"Remember when Mommy and I told you that I'm not very well? Well, the sickness I have makes me very tired, bud," Will explained gently.

"Oh," Henry said simply. Scooting across the couch, he plopped himself between Mommy and Daddy. "Can Mommy kiss it better?"

JJ had to smile. Cupping Will's cheek in her hand, she kissed him once again.

Will smiled as JJ's lips pressed gently against his own. When they pulled apart, Henry was grinning up at them.

"Always, buddy. Always"

* * *

JJ stared at her desk. It was the first day back after the month long break they'd been given following a number of awful cases. She'd completed all her paperwork, and for the first time that she could ever remember, she wanted more.

Because all she could think about was Will.

She was worried about leaving him with Henry. Not because he wasn't capable of looking after Henry, but because she feared he might struggle to keep up with the energetic little boy.

"Hey, Pennsylvania, how was your break?" Morgan called as he entered the bullpen after visiting Garcia, snapping JJ out of her thoughts.

"Huh? Oh...it was ok," she said quickly, immediately kicking herself. She knew straightaway that she hadn't convinced him.

"You don't sound like it was ok. Everything alright?" Morgan asked gently as he sat down on the edge of Reid's desk to wait for the genius to return from the coffee run.

"Yeah, everything's fine," JJ said bluntly, avoiding his eyes.

"JJ-"

"Just drop it, Derek, ok? My personal life is none of your concern," she snapped, rather harshly. Morgan looked taken aback as she stood up and exited the bullpen. As she passed Reid, he greeted her, but got no response.

Crossing the bullpen, Reid handed Morgan his coffee and watched as JJ turned down the hallway, presumably towards the bathroom. "What's wrong with JJ?"

"I think I touched a nerve. Something's bothering her," Morgan replied, taking a sip of coffee.

"Maybe she and Will had a fight," Reid suggested, sitting down in his chair. Morgan shrugged.

"Maybe. Whatever it is, it'll either sort itself out, or she'll tell us when she's ready," he said softly as he got up off the edge of the desk and headed back to his office.

As he passed the door to the ladies room, he was broken from his thoughts by the unmistakeable sound of someone crying softly. Listening closer, he was pretty sure it was JJ.

Garcia chose that moment to approach him from the end of the hall. "My hunk of burning love, you and I-"

"Baby girl, I think JJ's crying in the bathroom," Morgan cut in bluntly. Garcia's eyes widened and filled with concern.

"Are you sure?"

"I think so. I'd go in and check, but it's the ladies room," Morgan pointed out. Without another word, Garcia slipped inside the bathroom.

* * *

JJ wiped away a tear that was making a trail down her cheek. She heard the door swing open, and looked up to see Garcia standing at the other end of the bathroom.

"Peaches...what's wrong?" Garcia asked gently, approaching her friend and putting a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Nothing...I'm just having a bad day," JJ lied.

"I think Morgan's worried that he upset you. He implied that I come in here and check on you," Garcia half laughed. JJ shook her head.

"It's not Morgan. Trust me...I'm just having an off day," JJ insisted. "I'm touched that you're worried about me, I really am. But I think I'm just hormonal or something"

"Are you pregnant?" Garcia gasped. JJ laughed, her tears forgotten momentarily.

"No, Pen, I am not pregnant," she replied. Garcia pouted.

"And here I was thinking I'd have another child to spoil," she sighed. JJ smiled, patting her shoulder as she passed her on her way to the door.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Had a huge powerout today. Worked a four hour shift, beginning to end, by torchlight, and now I have a major headache. You're lucky I was able to look at the computer screen long enough to update you.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

Morgan looked up from his paperwork as Hotch descended the stairs from the catwalk.

"Going somewhere, Hotch?" he asked, sitting up fully and spinning around to face the older man.

"I'm actually on my way out so go and check on JJ. She's been taking an increasing amount of time off recently...I was just going to go and make sure that everything's ok," Hotch explained, walking up to Morgan as he looked down at his phone.

"Won't she see that as an invasion of her privacy? Shouldn't we just let her tell us what's going on?" Morgan countered.

"She might see it that way, but you know JJ would never give in and tell us if something's wrong. I'm getting quite worried about her. I just want to make sure that they're all ok," Hotch insisted. Morgan nodded.

"Fair enough," he said softly. Watching as his boss exited the bullpen and headed for the elevator, he hoped that everything was ok in the LaMontagne household. And he prayed that whatever had JJ acting so strangely could be fixed.

* * *

Upon opening the front door, JJ was surprised to find Hotch standing on the doorstep. "Hotch? What are you doing here?"

Hotch cocked an eyebrow. "Hello to you too, JJ"

JJ blushed slightly. "Sorry, you just..surprised me"

"I'm sorry that I came unannounced, but I just wanted to make sure everything's ok. You've been taking a lot of time off in the past couple of weeks," Hotch pointed out. JJ dropped her gaze, intentionally avoiding his eyes.

"Yeah. It's just...it's personal-"

"JJ!" came Will's panicked cry from inside the house. For a brief second, Hotch saw fear flash across JJ's eyes. She turned on her heel and ran down the hallway, towards Will's voice. Knowing that something was definitely wrong, Hotch knew he couldn't just leave. Stepping inside, he closed the door behind him just as Henry ran up to him.

"Uncle Aaron!" he said excitedly. Hotch smiled, swinging the little boy up onto his hip.

JJ practically skidded across the floorboards as she rounded the corner into the ensuite bathroom. "Holy shit!"

Will was doubled over the sink, a cloth bunched firmly under his nose, blood staining the front of his shirt. There was blood in the basin, and his skin was paling.

"You only had a fever!"JJ exclaimed, grabbing a fresh cloth. Turning Will to face her, she made him move the other cloth away from his nose. Dark red blood spilled down over his top lip. She couldn't fight away the fear she was feeling as she pressed the clean cloth underneath his nose.

"I know, cher. I had just finished washin' my hands, and then I felt somethin' drippin' on my lip," Will explained. Neither of them noticed when Hotch appeared in the doorway, Henry on his hip.

"Will, you ok?" he asked, making JJ jump. Will shot JJ a look that clearly said '_You haven't told them yet?'_. JJ glared at him, shaking her head slightly.

"Yeah, I'm ok...just a bad nosebleed," Will replied, half laughing. The laughter set off a coughing fit. JJ pulled away as he rounded for the sink, and promptly coughed up what looked like a blood clot into the basin.

"Oh my god. That's bad," JJ whispered, half to herself. Hotch's eyes widened as he watched the scene unfolding in front of him. Letting Henry down to his feet, he stepped into the bathroom.

"I feel kinda dizzy, cher," Will managed to say before his legs gave out underneath him. Hotch leapt forward, managing to catch the Southerner before his head hit the ground.

"I'm calling 911," JJ said quickly, hurrying from the room. Henry watched his mother run off, and then slowly approached his father and his uncle.

"Daddy? Is you ok?" he asked softly, looking extremely scared. Will weakly took Henry's hand, squeezing gently.

"I'm gonna be fine"

* * *

Hotch approached JJ as she sat in the waiting room. He'd taken the rest of the day off to make sure Will was ok, and had organised for Beth to come and pick up Henry so he could play with Jack.

Holding out a cup of coffee, he sat down beside the young blonde. JJ glanced over at him, taking the coffee he was offering.

"Thanks," she mumbled, taking a sip. As she tipped her head back, Hotch noticed that her eyes were red rimmed.

"JJ...it's just a nosebleed. Why are you so upset?" he asked gently. JJ bit her lip, his words causing tears to well up in her eyes.

"It's not. It's so much more than you think," she whispered. Hotch watched her, trying to figure out what she could possibly mean by that, when she looked up at him, tears cresting her lower lashes.

"Will has leukaemia, Hotch. He was diagnosed nearly three months ago," she choked out. Hotch exhaled heavily, his heart sinking with sadness.

"It can be treated, JJ. Radiation, chemotherapy, bone marrow transplants-"

"No...it can't. It had progressed too quickly and too aggressively by the time they found it...he's only got about five months left," JJ cut in, the tears spilling over and running down her cheeks. Hotch was lost for words. He didn't know how to provide comfort to someone who was going to lose a loved one.

"JJ, I'm so sorry," he said softly, sincerity and sympathy in his eyes.

"Jennifer," a voice called before either of them could say another word. JJ looked up and saw Dr Ramsell walking towards her.

"How is he?" she asked, jumping up as he reached them.

"Would you like to go somewhere more private to discuss this?" Dr Ramsell asked softly, noticing that JJ wasn't alone. JJ shook her head, wiping away tears.

"No. No, I want to know what's going on. Right now," she insisted. Dr Ramsell nodded knowingly, leading her back to her seat. Pulling a chair up in front of the two agents, he sat down, clasping his hands in front of him.

"Jennifer, Will has reached the turning point a little earlier than I expected. You knew that his liver and spleen had begun to fail?" he began. JJ nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah, uh...he'd been feeling pretty low. Fevers, nausea, the things you told us to look out for," she confirmed.

"Well, it seems that his kidneys have followed suit. The nosebleed he suffered was the calling card of kidney failure. And I have to be brutally honest, it's only going to get worse from here on out"

"Does that...does that mean he has less time?"

"I wouldn't think so, but with these types of cancers, you can never be sure. Dialysis twice a week would give Will the best quality of life. He would be able to get up and be moving around with minimal pain. I know it seems like I'm suddenly thrusting another treatment at you, but dialysis was always going to be needed from the very start"

JJ hadn't noticed that Hotch had reached over and taken her hand in a gesture of comfort. "Can I see him?" she asked tearfully. Dr Ramsell nodded, standing up and beckoning for her to follow. It was then that JJ realised Hotch had her hand...and was grateful for it. Letting go, she gave him a weak smile before following Dr Ramsell down the hall.

Entering the room, JJ couldn't help but be a little afraid. Will was extremely pale, with tiny bruises lining the left side of his jaw, just below his ear. A nasal cannula was helping him breathe properly until the bleeding in his airway cleared up.

As she approached the bed, Will turned his head to the right, and broke into a weak smile. "Hey. I was beginnin' to think you'd abandoned me," he teased as she leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"Never. I love you too much," JJ replied, pulling a chair up to the edge of the bed. Placing her arms on the rail at the side of the bed, she rested her chin on them, looking down at the physically drained man her husband had become in such a short amount of time.

"How bad is it, cher?" Will asked softly, seeing the fear and sadness in her eyes. JJ took a deep breath, blinking back tears.

"Kidney failure. You'll need dialysis twice a week to be able to get up and move around with little pain," she said gently. Will exhaled heavily, looking up at the ceiling.

"There's always somethin' else, isn' there?" he sighed.

"Will-"

"It's ok, JayJay. I'm gonna have the dialysis...only 'cause I wanna be able to spend time with you an' Henry," Will said quickly, giving her a reassuring smile. JJ smiled back, leaning down to give him a soft kiss.

"Thank you"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Man, the weather has just been mental in this past week. So, I got some inspiration from various places.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

Henry couldn't have been smiling bigger as he sat in Will's arms, watching the fireworks that were erupting into the sky over his head. JJ was standing on Will's other side, leaning into his side a little as she also watched the fireworks. Will had his free arm around her waist, and a smile that mirrored Henry's on his face.

The fireworks erupted into thousands of colours, lighting up the Fourth of July summer sky. Henry gasped in amazement as a big Mickey Mouse shaped firecracker exploded.

As a large heart shaped firecracker boomed into existence, sending a flash of pink over the watching crowd, JJ cupped Will's jaw in her hands and kissed him square on the lips. Henry giggled as he watched his parents from Daddy's arms. The kiss deepened a little as Will pulled JJ closer to him.

Pulling back, somewhat breathlessly, JJ smiled at him, tears evident in her eyes. "I love you"

Will broke into his handsome smile, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you too, JayJay"

* * *

Will glanced back over his shoulder into the backseat, where Henry was sound asleep, worn out from the night's activities. The glare from the street lights passed over the little boy's sleeping face as they sped towards home.

"JJ...you know that the lucid moments like this are gonna get further and further apart as...as the time gets closer," Will said softly, breaking the gentle silence. JJ took a deep breath, keeping her eyes fixated on the road in front of her.

"I know," she whispered. She didn't want to cry. Not _again_. But inevitably, a single tear slipped out, leaving a glistening trail down her cheek, and she had to pull over before she completely lost it.

"JayJay-"

"I just need a minute-"

"Listen to me...I know that this is breakin' your heart, JJ, and I really hate that I'm the cause of all your pain. But we can keep makin' memories like these. Memories that will last forever, and hopefully give yourself and Henry some good times to hold onto before I get much worse. I promise that we are gonna make the most of the time I have left with you," Will explained, reaching out and wiping away the tears running down JJ's face with the pad of his thumb. JJ leaned into his touch, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. For just a split second, it felt like everything would be ok. It felt like nothing was wrong. As she breathed out, exhaling a heavy breath, she also got rid of that false perception.

"I have thousands of memories with you. And I want to make thousands more before you have to go," she whispered, lifting her gaze to meet his worried blue eyes.

"I promise to make that happen," Will replied, promising his words with all of his heart. And he knew that this was a promise he could keep.

* * *

JJ sat beside Will's bed, flipping through a magazine. He was undergoing his twice weekly dialysis, and they were into the third week. On JJ's count, despite the fact that Will was in good spirits, and felt pretty good considering his condition, he only had 17 weeks or so left.

Will sighed, dropping his head back to the pillow to count the bubbles in the ceiling paint _again_. Reaching twenty, he gave up, sighing again as he looked around the room. JJ cleared her throat, a hint that he was getting on her nerves. Looking down at his hands, he tapped the tips of his fingers together...and without even realising it, sighed again.

"Keep it up and I'll save you from your boredom by beating you to death with this magazine," JJ muttered darkly, making him laugh.

"I'm bored...and hungry," Will laughed. JJ looked at him in disbelief.

"I know you're bored, I got the hint an hour ago. But you can't be hungry again! You had Jell-O twenty minutes ago!" JJ exclaimed. Will grinned.

"I'm a guy, JJ"

JJ smirked at him. "I know that, I have seen a certain part of your anatomy on plenty of occasions"

At that moment, Henry returned to the room with the day nurse. Every single one of the nurses who had been caring for Will at some point had taken a strong liking to Henry. If Will was in the hospital, and one of the nurses was off duty, he or she would take Henry to the kid's playroom on the paediatric floor for a little while.

"Mommy, look what 'Tefanie 'n I made!" Henry exclaimed, running across the room to where Mommy was sitting. Holding out a small handful of homemade badges, he beamed proudly as Stephanie stepped up behind him.

"Wow, buddy, look at those! They're great!" JJ gushed, picking up Henry and seating him in her lap before covering him in kisses. Stephanie moved around the bed to check Will's dialyser as Henry giggled and squirmed in Mommy's lap.

"Mommy...gwoss, stop dat!" Henry giggled, trying to push JJ's face away from him with his little hands. JJ grinned, giving in to Henry's request. Stephanie smiled as she walked back to the door and left the room.

"Mommy, I sit with Daddy?" Henry asked happily, looking up at Mommy. JJ nodded, lifting him up onto Will's lap.

"Whatcha got there, buddy?" Will asked, taking one of the badges from Henry's hand.

"Badges!" Henry exclaimed proudly, thrusting the rest of the badges out towards Will.

JJ watched with a smile on her face as Henry explained what each badge was. The little things like this...they were the things that counted.

* * *

JJ rested against Will's chest as they lounged with the rest of the team in Morgan's backyard. The two boys were running around happily on the lawn while the adults enjoyed some downtime from a hard week at work. At that moment in time, they were teasing Reid about not knowing what _The Hunger Games_ was.

"Are you serious man? It's been all anyone's talked about since it came out!" Morgan explained, in utter disbelief of the fact that even he knew what it was, but Reid didn't.

"It makes no sense. What kind of game is a 'hunger' game?" Reid countered, making them all laugh. Hotch and Rossi were shaking their heads at the oblivious genius.

"The event that the book details is _called_ The Hunger Games, Spence," JJ laughed. "I can't believe you haven't read them. Katniss could certainly teach you a thing or two about nature," she teased.

"Katniss? What's that?" Reid asked, making them laugh again.

"The main character is called Katniss Everdeen. You really need to catch up on what's new," Garcia explained. Reaching into her bag, she tossed him her copy of _The Hunger Games_. "Read up"

As Reid reached out to catch the flying book, a little voice slipped into the conversation, floating over from where the owner of that voice was standing on the other side of the garden.

"My Daddy's going to heaven"

JJ's eyes widened as she turned to look at Will. She knew everyone else had heard, because they'd all frozen and were now staring in shock at the couple. In all the drama with Will's condition, the thought that Henry might accidentally let something slip at a gathering had never crossed JJ's mind. And by the look on Will's face, it had never occurred to him either.

"JJ?" Morgan asked softly, as he was sitting closest to the married couple. JJ slowly turned back to look at the group, not quite sure what to say. Hot tears stung her eyes, signalling an approaching breakdown. Pulling out of Will's hold, she quickly made her way to the back door, disappearing inside the house. Garcia got up to follow her, her main mission being to comfort JJ.

"Will...what's going on?" Rossi cut in, breaking the silence. Will looked up at the FBI agents he'd come to call his friends and family. Sitting forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and took a deep breath.

"I was diagnosed with leukaemia...just over three months ago. End stage. I have just over four months left," he explained gently. Looking around, he took in the expressions that encircled the group. Morgan looked shocked, but at the same time, his eyes were filled with a disbelieving sadness. Hotch had already known, but still looked incredibly sympathetic. Rossi just looked shell shocked, while Reid didn't really know what to feel. Beth had her hand over her heart, and her eyes were glistening. She'd come to know Will quite well in the past year, and had developed a strong liking for the quirky Southerner.

"You're joking...," Morgan finally said, his voice quiet and filled with utter disbelief. However, his words were more a statement of denial than a question.

"I wish I was," Will said regretfully. Pulling himself to his feet, he stood for a moment, his hands in his pockets. "I'm gonna go check on JJ"

The others watched his retreating back as he disappeared inside the house. Henry dropped the ball he and Jack were playing with, and ran after his Daddy, just slipping inside the door before Will closed it.

* * *

Will entered the bedroom from which Garcia's voice was floating. Without another word, he crossed the room and pulled JJ into his arms, allowing her to break down on his shoulder.

"I'll give you guys some space...Will, I'm so sorry," Garcia said softly, tears filling her eyes. Will nodded slightly, watching as the colourful woman left the room. As he gently rocked back and forth, placing light kisses just behind JJ's ear and on her temple, Henry climbed up on the bed, and wrapped his arms around his mother as high as he could reach.

"Mommy, no sad," he insisted.

"I never wanted them to find out like this," JJ choked out, lifting her tear streaked face from Will's shoulder.

"Neither did I, cher, but what's done is done. It's not Henry's fault that it came out today. They know now. They'll understand. And now you can have the support you need as well," Will said gently.

"I bad?" Henry chimed in. JJ turned around, breaking Will's hold on her as she swept Henry up into her embrace.

"No, baby boy, you're not bad," she murmured against his blonde hair. Will put his arms around the two of them, relishing the feel of his family in his arms. Even though the team finding out had upset JJ...he felt a massive relief from knowing they didn't have to hide his illness anymore.

* * *

Will pulled Henry's covers up over the little boy's body, leaning down and kissing his forehead. "Good night. Sleep tight. Don' let the bed bugs bite. I love you"

Henry giggled as he snuggled under the covers. He lay there for a moment, watching as his daddy left the room, flicking the nightlight on as he did. He listened as Daddy's footsteps got further and further away before he called out.

"Daddy?" he called in his small voice.

Will turned on his heel, heading back down the hall to his son's bedroom. Leaning around the doorframe, he looked at Henry's angelic face. "Yeah, buddy?"

"When you go to heaven, is you gonna be a guarj'an angel?" Henry asked sweetly. The innocence of the question was evident. Will exhaled heavily as he stepped into the room. Slipping his shoes off, he slid in beside Henry, pulling the youngster into his arms.

"I'm gonna be your guardian angel. I'll always be watchin' you and your momma, because I love you so much," he said softly, pressing a kiss to Henry's soft blonde head.

"I yuv you too," Henry whispered, snuggling into the curve of Will's neck.

Together, father and son, they fell asleep, Henry curled up in Will's protective embrace. And that was how JJ found them an hour later. With a smile on her tired face, she pulled the door closed behind her as she too, headed for bed.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Now, before you say Henry would be too small for Splash Mountain, Nathan tweeted last year that Mekhai went on Splash Mountain, and this was before his third birthday. Henry is approaching his fifth birthday in this, so he would definitely be big enough.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

Will couldn't keep his eyes off of JJ where she sat next to him on the plane. Her hair was scraped back into a messy ponytail, leaving a few strands hanging on either side of her face. Will thought that the way she could curl up in an airline seat with ease was adorable.

Glancing up from her book out of the corner of her eye, JJ smirked. "What are you looking at?"

Will smiled, reaching out and tucking the stray strands of hair behind her ear so he could see her face. "You. You're beautiful"

JJ blushed, her expression softening. "You're not so bad yourself," she said softly, a smile playing around her lips.

"I'm sure I've looked better," Will countered. JJ shook her head, leaning over and kissing him briefly. Pulling away, she slipped her left hand into his, lacing their fingers together. They didn't let go of each other until the plane touched down at its destination.

* * *

Henry bounced excitedly on the balls of his feet as they reached the entrance to Disneyworld. JJ kept a tight grip on his hand to prevent him from running off and getting lost.

"Will...," she almost gasped. If she was completely honest with herself, when Will had announced he was taking them to Orlando, Disneyworld had never even crossed her mind.

"Disneyworld's like a rite o' passage for kids. I wanted to be able to take him," Will explained softly. JJ broke into a soft smile, putting her free arm around his neck and hugging him.

"You are the best daddy he could ever ask for," she whispered in his ear, making him smile.

"I try my hardest," Will whispered back. JJ grinned, pulling away. Looking down at a very excited Henry, she prepared herself for the few days to come.

"So, little man, what are we going to do first?" she asked. Henry bit his lip in thought, before breaking into a wide smile.

"We find Mickey Mouse!"

* * *

By some small miracle, Mickey Mouse had been located within the first ten minutes. Mickey had lifted Henry up and given him a hug, before they all got together for a photo. Then they had gone on the teacup ride, one of the bigger merry go rounds that had all the Disney characters on it, and visited a couple of souvenir shops, before venturing out to the bigger rides.

Much to JJ and Will's surprise, Henry had seen Splash Mountain, and set his heart on going on it before the day was out. After some heavy sweet talking (and promises of sexual favours), Will convinced JJ to go on the ride with them.

JJ had screamed as the ride dropped down the steep incline, gripping Will's hand with an iron fist. Water had sprayed up all over the riders, but as the LaMontagnes exited the ride, they were all beaming from ear to ear.

As they sat in an ice cream parlour in the early evening, enjoying a special treat in Henry's opinion, JJ noticed that Will seemed to be fighting off sleep. Henry was oblivious, happily getting his choc chip ice cream all over his face as he ate it.

"Henry buddy, I think it's time we head back to the hotel, don't you think?" JJ suggested lightly. Henry pouted.

"I wanna stay," he whined.

"We're coming back tomorrow," JJ promised.

"JJ, it's alright. We can stay a little longer," Will cut in. JJ turned her attention to him. His face was pale, and there were the beginnings of dark circles under his eyes.

"Will, you're exhausted. And so is Henry," she countered, nodding towards Henry, who did look like he was running out of steam.

Will thought for a moment, before sighing and taking JJ's hand. "Alright. Let's go"

Henry fell asleep on JJ's shoulder in the back of the taxi. When JJ noticed that Will had fallen silent, she looked to her right and realised that he was also asleep, resting against the window. Smiling, she took his hand in hers and held it tightly all the way back to the hotel.

* * *

Once Henry was settled in his bed, the promises from earlier came into play. JJ giggled as Will pushed her back onto their bed and began ravishing her skin with fiery kisses, his lips leaving a hot trail over her jaw, neck, and shoulders. At the sight of JJ lost for words, Will was suddenly more awake than ever.

Pulling him up towards her, JJ captured his teasing lips in a passionate kiss. It quickly turned into a very heated make out session among the pillows of their bed. JJ pushed her fingers through Will's brown locks, while he tangled his fingers in the golden lengths of her hair. Breaking their kiss, he moved his lips to her neck and began kissing passionately the glowing skin that was before him. JJ knew it would leave a mark, but it felt so good that she really didn't care.

"I love you," she managed to choke out as desire grew in her belly. She said it so many times a day, that to anyone who didn't know what they were going through, they would think she was laying it on thick to keep a hold on him. But in reality, she just wanted to make sure he knew it was true when his time arrived.

Will lifted his face, kissing her swollen lips once more. "I love you too ,JayJay."

* * *

The next few days were spent traipsing all over Disneyworld, buying all sorts of souvenirs, and going on as many rides as they could possibly fit into one day. They got plenty of family photos with a wide range of Disney characters, saw the fireworks at the Disney castle, and basically, had a fantastic time on a family holiday to be remembered forever.

By the end of it though, Will and JJ had seen enough Disney to last them a lifetime. Instead of wandering around Orlando on their last couple of days, they chose to spend them relaxing by the pool at the hotel.

"I'm gonna go get us some towels," Will said softly, kissing JJ's cheek as she rubbed sunscreen into Henry's pale skin.

Turning around, Will walked towards the pool house, where an elderly lady was waiting for dry towels.

"Can I get three towels, please?" he asked. The girl in the pool house nodded, stepping into the back room to locate some fresh towels.

"Is that your wife and son?" the elderly lady asked, nodding towards JJ and Henry, as she'd noticed Will leaving them just a few moments earlier. Will turned, looking back to where Henry was jumping into the water, landing in JJ's arms.

"Yes," he replied, facing the lady once more, a smile on his face.

"You have a beautiful family," she said warmly, smiling at him with a friendly, genuine smile.

"Thank you," Will said appreciatively. "They're my whole world"

The lady smiled as she took the towels in her arms. "Family is a blessing. Hold onto them"

Will nodded, taking his towels into his hands. As he walked slowly back to where JJ and Henry were playing in the pool, the saddening thoughts of how in just a few months, JJ and Henry would be on their own washed over him once more. Shaking them away, he set the towels down on their sun lounge, before surprising JJ by jumping into the water and splashing both her and Henry.

As he became submerged in the water, he felt like a cocoon was wrapped around him as the world went silent. He felt peaceful. For the first time since he was diagnosed, his mind was at ease. Because ever since his diagnosis, he'd felt like everyone and everything was screaming at him as the weight of his condition on his shoulders got heavier.

He wished it was just peaceful like this.

Surfacing again, he found Henry doggy paddling towards him, JJ drifting lazily behind him.

"Daddy, you splashed me and Mommy!" he giggled, latching his water winged arms around Will's neck.

"I did, didn' I?" Will laughed, hugging his precious boy. JJ duck dived under the water, tickling Henry's feet before surfacing next to Will. Henry giggled, squirming about in Will's arms. Springing free, he paddled in circles around his parents. Will wrapped his arms around JJ's waist, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"This has been so much fun. Thank you," JJ said warmly as they broke apart.

"My pleasure," Will said softly, kissing her again, pulling her in closer to him, grinning as Henry giggled at his mommy and daddy kissing.

* * *

JJ took a deep breath as she pressed 'Call' and held the phone up to her ear. Gazing out the window, she watched, laughing softly as Will and Henry play wrestled on the front lawn. Will was tickling Henry lightly, grinning as the little boy giggled and squirmed beneath his touch, trying with flailing limbs to tickle Daddy back.

"Hello?" a familiar voice answered, sounding somewhat sleepy.

"Hey Em, it's me, JJ. I didn't wake you, did I?" JJ replied, glad to hear her friend's voice, but worried she'd broken Emily's much needed 'beauty sleep'.

Emily bolted upright in her bed, suddenly wide awake. "JJ! Oh my god, I haven't heard from you in ages!"

JJ laughed. "I was just calling to find out if you were going to be in DC anytime soon?"

"You're in luck. I'm actually headed back there this weekend," Emily replied.

"That's good. I've missed you...and there's something that I really need to tell you, but it has to be in person," JJ explained, outlining the reason for her call.

"Sure. I'll be sure to call you when I get in. Everything ok?" Emily asked, knowing that there was probably more to it than the blonde profiler was letting on.

JJ bit her lip. She fought back what she so desperately wanted to tell her friend.

"_No, everything is so far from ok."_

"_My husband will be dead in four months, but yeah, everything's just dandy."_

"_I'm facing the reality of being a single working mom."_

"_It'll be just like losing Sarah all over again."_

"_I don't want to lose everything Will and I built our relationship on."_

"_I feel like tearing my hair out over this."_

"_I just want to stand in my backyard and scream every curse under the sun at God, because this is so beyond unfair."_

"_If I lose him, I lose a part of myself as well."_

"_...I'm terrified of being on my own, and I'm so not ready for this, and I don't want the pain that this will bring to me and Henry."_

"Yeah. Everything's fine," she lied.

"Ok. Well, I have a long day ahead of me, so I'd better get back to sleep. I'll definitely see you on Sunday morning?" Emily verified.

"Sure. If you need a ride from the airport or anything, I'm happy to-"

"That would be great," Emily cut in. JJ smiled, but inside, she knew that the drive from the airport would be the only time she and Emily would get to themselves. The only time she could tell Emily the drastic turn their lives had taken, and the fate that awaited her family.

"See you then," JJ said softly. Emily gave her goodbye, before hanging up.

JJ sat silently on the couch, her phone clutched in her hand. She was lost in her thoughts, contemplating over all the remarks that had come to mind when Emily asked if she was ok. She knew that at some point, she would have to tell Will about all of those feelings, otherwise she would go insane.

And then a revelation hit her.

She still hadn't told her mother.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Yes, it's a scene right out of My Sister's Keeper, but I tweaked it a bit.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

"_Leukaemia. He's got about three months left"_

_Sandy Jareau gasped as the words her conversation with her daughter had been leading to slipped out. Her eyes glistened as she looked out the window, down to the street, where some of the local children were playing._

"_Jenny...oh my dear, why didn't you tell me sooner?" she asked finally, swallowing thickly. _

"_I kind of forgot. Everything was happening so quickly...I never realised that you didn't know...until last week. Then I had to figure out how to say it...Mom, how do I do this? You've been through this before...I don't know how I'm going to be able to hold it together after...after he's gone, for Henry's sake," JJ practically sobbed into the phone._

"_You're my daughter, Jen. You're going to be fine. Say the word, and I'll be on the next flight to DC," Sandy said thickly, tears pricking her eyes._

"_Mom-"_

"_Not a word. You don't have to do this on your own"_

* * *

JJ was helpless to stop the smile spreading across her face as she noticed the familiar head of brunette hair fighting through the crowd towards her. She had barely given Emily a chance to step past the throng of people and out into the open before she'd run up and thrown her arms around her.

"I can't believe you're here!" she said excitedly. Emily grinned as she stumbled slightly, hugging JJ back.

"Hi JJ," she laughed as JJ pulled away.

"Hi! I can't believe you're here!" JJ repeated, making her friend laugh again.

"Strangely, neither can I. It's been a year since I was here, I kind of got used to London. But I have missed you guys," Emily said sincerely, swinging her bag back over her shoulder. JJ smiled as she took the handle of Emily's suitcase, and started to lead her to the car.

"Have you got somewhere to stay while you're here?" she asked as they exited the airport terminal.

"Yeah, I rented my condo out while I was in London. The people in it moved out just last week, so it was kind of perfect timing. I'm going to stay there while I'm here," Emily explained. JJ nodded.

"When Will found out you were coming back, he insisted you stay with us if you had nowhere else. Is there something I should know about?" JJ teased. Emily laughed.

"Yeah, we were planning on telling you...," she played along. JJ giggled as they reached the car. Opening the trunk, she and Emily lifted the suitcase in. Walking around to their respective sides of the car, they slid in.

"Speaking of Will, where is he? And Henry?" Emily asked as she pulled her seatbelt over her shoulder.

"I came on my own...because there's something that I need to explain to you before you see them again, and it's just easier to do it like this," JJ said softly, her expression falling as she manoeuvred out of the parking lot and onto the highway that led from the airport to Virginia. Emily noticed the change in her mood, and detected that something was wrong. She said so.

"Jayje...is something wrong?" she asked gently. JJ took a deep breath, not tearing her eyes from the road. A short silence fell over them before she spoke.

"Will...he's sick," she stated bluntly, unable to force what she wanted to say past her lips.

"How sick?" Emily pushed quietly. JJ bit her lip momentarily, taking a deep breath to try and stop tears from spilling. _'Goddamn it, Jennifer, get it together! You can't cry every time you have to say this!' _her mind screamed.

"He, um...he was diagnosed...with leukaemia. About four months ago," she spat out. Emily's shocked expression was not missed in JJ's peripheral vision.

"Oh my god, JJ," she gasped.

"It's end stage and he's got about three months left," JJ said in one big rush, her screaming mind doing nothing to stop the tears that fell. She couldn't help it. It was so heartbreaking.

"JJ, pull over," Emily said gently. JJ did so, and as soon as they were safely on the side of the road, she slumped back in her seat, covering her face with her hands in an attempt to hide her emotion. Emily placed her hand on JJ's shoulder, waiting for the blonde to look up again. When she did, her eyes were filled with tears.

"Every time I have to tell someone...I can't help but burst into tears. It's becoming a habit, and it's getting pathetic," JJ said, laughing weakly. Emily shook her head.

"It's not pathetic, JJ, it's perfectly ok. You're going through a rough time, and you're heartbroken. You want to be able to express how you feel, but the only way you can do it is to cry," she said, ignoring the fact that she had bluntly profiled JJ.

"This is probably the first time I'm ever going to say that I love profilers. That's exactly how I feel," JJ sniffed. Emily handed her a tissue.

"JJ, I'm so sorry. You guys really don't deserve this. Will deserves to be with you and Henry, and you deserve to have him there by your side for the rest of your life," she said softly.

"I just wish it could happen," JJ mumbled. Emily looked at her, somewhat apologetically.

"You make the most of the time you have left, and then afterwards, cherish the memories. It's really all you can do," she explained softly. JJ nodded, turning back to face the road. Gripping the steering wheel, she pulled back into the traffic rushing down the highway, hoping that by the time they reached home, the sadness would lift somewhat. She wanted to enjoy Emily's stay in DC with her friend, not drag her mood down with her own troubles.

* * *

JJ groaned, pulling away as someone tugged on her arm. "Go away," she mumbled, knowing without opening her eyes that it was the middle of the night. They tugged again, harder this time.

"Mommy," Henry's voice hissed, cutting through the silence of the night. JJ's eyes flew open. Henry never woke her up in the middle of the night, unless he'd had a nightmare or wet his bed, neither of which had happened in a while.

"What's wrong, buddy?" she whispered, so as not to wake Will.

"I feel sick," Henry moaned. JJ reached out, pressing her hand to his forehead.

"Baby boy, you're burning up. Where do you feel sick?" she asked.

"My tummy," Henry replied. JJ looked at him in concern as she got out of bed and knelt down in front of him.

"Do you feel like you're going to throw up?"

Henry's nod in reply made JJ leap into action. Knowing from previous experience that if Henry said he felt like he was going to throw up, there was a 99 percent chance that he would, she grabbed his hand, pulled him into the bathroom...and got him to the toilet just in time.

"Oh little man, you really don't feel good, do you?" she said softly, stroking his hair as he was sick. When he stopped, he burst into tears. JJ wiped his mouth with a tissue, before pulling him into a hug. "It's alright, don't get upset, ok? It's ok"

As she calmed Henry down, something that Dr Ramsell had said at one of Will's first appointments came to mind.

'_If you or Henry ever get sick, you won't be able to stay around Will. His immune system is so worn down from the radiation, and from the cancer itself, that even a common cold could make him incredibly sick. In some cases, it can even be fatal'_

Lifting Henry to her hip, she carried him out of the room. Setting him down on the couch, she was surprised when someone knocked on the door.

"Just sit here a minute, ok?" she said gently. Henry nodded as she crossed the room and opened the front door. Standing on the front doorstep was Kate.

"Kate. Everything ok?" she asked.

"I'm really sorry to bother you at this hour, but Alicia's got a stomach virus, and I've got nothing to help settle her stomach. I was wondering if you had anything I could use?" Kate replied. JJ nodded, stepping back and allowing Kate inside. Kate noticed Henry sitting on the couch. "Hi Henry"

"Hi," Henry mumbled.

"He's not well either. He's probably got what Alicia has. I'm trying to find somewhere he can stay, because he can't be around Will while he's sick," JJ explained.

"Oh of course...did you want to leave him with me?" Kate offered. JJ turned around from where she was rifling through the cabinet above the fridge.

"Kate, I couldn't do that, that's too much"

"JJ, I used to work in an emergency room. Two four year olds with a stomach virus is nothing. Honestly, it'd be fine," Kate replied, waving it off.

"If you're sure, that would be great," JJ said as she walked over, pressing a bottle of medicine into Kate's hand. Kate nodded.

"It's fine"

"Alright. I'll bring him around in a minute"

* * *

JJ grinned, handing the feather duster to Henry, watching as he copied something he'd obviously seen on TV, and pranced around on his toes, daintily polishing the ornaments and photo frames. He'd spent two days at Kate's, and had returned home a much healthier little man. JJ had to laugh at her funny boy as he polished the glass on the picture frames.

"You keep up the hard work, ok, and I'll be right back," she promised.

"Ok. I make it all shiny!" Henry giggled. JJ laughed, shaking her head as she walked towards the master bedroom to retrieve the surface spray she'd left in the bathroom. As she approached the door, she heard the unmistakeable sound of Will having a coughing fit; something that, in leukaemia patients, could signal danger. Grabbing the handle, she forced it around, only to find that the door was locked.

"Will? Will! Open the door!" she called, her voice rising with panic.

"No! I'm fine!" Will protested, breaking into another fit of coughing. JJ's worry immediately increased. He _never_ coughed like that. Not even when he'd had that chest infection a couple of years back.

"Will!" she called again, hammering on the door. By now, Henry had come to see what Mommy was yelling about, and was standing just to JJ's right, watching her with wide eyes.

When Will didn't answer, JJ's anxiety hit the roof. Stepping back, she swung her leg out at the door and snapped the lock in half.

* * *

Emily hurried up the driveway at JJ and Will's house, trying to quell the anxious feeling that arose from seeing the ambulance in the driveway. The call from JJ had been worrying enough. The only thing that made her feel a bit better was that JJ had mentioned calling Morgan as well.

Spying Morgan standing just inside the open front door, she rushed over to him.

"What's going on?" she asked. Morgan grabbed her hand, dodging paramedics and neighbours as he pulled Emily towards the back of the house.

"Henry had a stomach virus a couple of days ago. Their neighbour took care of him so that Will wouldn't get sick, but it looks like he caught it anyway. Then JJ heard Will coughing, but he wouldn't open the door, so she kicked it in," he explained hurriedly.

"She kicked the door down?" Emily exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yeah," Morgan replied, coming to a halt in the doorway of JJ and Will's room. Emily stopped beside him, taking in the sight before her.

Will was slumped against the foot of the bed, his eyes half closed and his face deathly pale. JJ was standing at the side of the bed, filling the paramedics in on his condition. Henry was standing just in front of the doorway, watching his father with a weary expression. Emily and Morgan both noted that JJ's eyes were extremely bright.

"He needs platelets and fluids right away, I don't want him going into shock-"

She was cut off by Will leaning to his right and throwing up a huge gush of dark red blood all over the carpet. Henry whimpered, stepping back and almost falling over Morgan's feet. Morgan reached down, swinging the scared little boy up onto his hip.

"Oh my god," Emily whispered, tears stinging her eyes. Unknowingly, she clutched tightly to Morgan's left arm, scared of what she was watching.

Lurching forward again, Will was helpless to stop another gush of blood coming from his mouth. He coughed violently as mouthful after mouthful of crimson spilled over his lips, leaving a patch that so eerily reminded Emily and Morgan of crime scenes on the carpet, and blood all down his chin and the front of his shirt. As he spat out drops of blood onto the now ruined carpet, two paramedics got leverage under him and lifted him up onto the gurney. Blood trickled from his nose and down over his lip as he slumped back against the gurney, all of his energy drained in one fell swoop.

Morgan and Emily weren't usually ones to find fear in seeing people like that. But seeing Will, someone they loved and cared for like family, so weak, so sick, and covered in his own blood...it was quite a scary sight. They knew if they were feeling that way, JJ must have been absolutely terrified for her husband.

"He'll be alright," Morgan whispered in Emily's ear. Emily swallowed thickly, nodding robotically as she fought to tear her eyes from the scene in front of her.

Will lifted his head, looking around anxiously for JJ, as the paramedics moved to take him to the ambulance. As he turned back, he looked straight at Morgan and Emily, and in his expression, quite clearly, was unhindered terror.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Shorter than usual. Brace yourselves.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

"His kidneys are no longer functioning at all. The stomach virus prompted the coughing fit, which quickly tore the tissue in his throat, causing haemorrhaging. The fact that his kidneys don't function means he has high levels of urea in his blood. That can cause multiple problems, and one of them is, unfortunately, what happened to Will tonight," Dr Ramsell explained to JJ as they sat in the waiting room. Henry was sitting beside his mother, playing quietly with a couple of toys. Will had been cleaned up and put on oxygen, and was now asleep in a private room just around the corner.

"Can't dialysis fix that?" JJ asked, her blue eyes brimming with tears. Dr Ramsell gave her a sombre look, and a slight shake of the head. JJ let out a choked sob as she put her hand over her mouth. Tears slipped out, running heartbreakingly slowly down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, JJ. Once AML reaches this stage, further treatment would only prolong his pain. This is the end," he said softly. JJ leant forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she covered her face with her hands. Her body shook with distraught sobs as she tried to comprehend what Dr Ramsell had told her.

"Mommy?" Henry asked softly, getting up so that he was standing in front of her. "Why you sad?" he asked, reaching up and pulling JJ's hands away so that he could see her face.

"I'll give you some time while I go and check on Will," Ramsell said softly, getting up from his chair and moving swiftly around the corner to Will's room.

"Daddy's going to heaven, baby," JJ said softly, stroking her precious boy's cheek with the tips of her fingers. No four year old should have to deal with this...

"Now?" Henry whimpered, his eyes mimicking those of a stray puppy as they filled with tears.

"Not right now...but soon," JJ replied, wiping her eyes. Lifting Henry up into her lap, she held him close, kissing the top of his head as he buried his face into the curve of her neck.

* * *

The room was almost silent, the only sounds being the gentle sounds of Will and Henry's breathing. Will was asleep in the bed, his skin pale, but mottled slightly purple along his jaw and collarbone; the bruises that signalled the beginning of end stage. Henry was curled up on the window seat on the far side of the room, JJ's jacket draped over him as he slept.

JJ herself was sitting rigidly in the armchair, her legs pulled up against her chest, her knees resting on her chin as she watched the man she loved slowly dying before her eyes.

It was crazy to think that while he looked peaceful on the outside, on the inside his body was fighting a raging war. JJ just wished she could help him fight that war, so that they could be together for longer.

Reaching out, she gently took one of Will's thin hands into hers, pressing a kiss to the back of it. "I love you. Please don't leave me just yet. Hold on a little longer for us. Please," she whispered against his skin.

Moving closer, she leant over his sleeping form and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. He stirred slightly, but just as quickly went back to sleep.

Moving out of the room, she walked down the quiet hallway until she reached a room where she could use her phone. Pulling it out, she automatically dialled the one person she needed to speak to.

"Jen? Are you alright?" was her mother's instantaneous greeting after the first ring. She knew her daughter wouldn't call at that time unless it was urgent.

"It's happening, Mom. He's reached it. End stage. There's not long now," JJ said tearfully into the phone.

"I'm coming out there. On the next flight. You're not going through this on your own," Sandy insisted.

JJ couldn't find the strength to form the words. Eventually, she found enough voice to speak. "Thank you"

* * *

JJ curled up beside Will on the bed, resting her head against his shoulder. Her mother had taken charge when she arrived, busying herself with looking after Henry and the house, so that JJ's only worry would be Will.

"It's gonna be ok," Will whispered, stroking her hair with his left hand. JJ reached across his chest, searching for his hand. Pressing her hand against his, they took in how small JJ's was compared to his, before locking their fingers together and holding tight.

"I know what you're going to say," she said softly.

"What's that?" Will replied.

"You want to die in your own bed," JJ said gently, looking up into his eyes. Will took a deep breath, nodding.

"I don't want to die like this," he replied almost pleadingly.

"I know. It's ok," JJ agreed, kissing the edge of his jaw. Bringing their entwined hands up to her lips, she pressed another kiss to his knuckles, lingering for a second.

"Love you so much it hurts," Will mumbled, his energy slipping. JJ half smiled, kissing his jaw again.

"Love you too"


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: More sadness.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

Henry pushed open the door to his parents' bedroom, peeking around the corner. He'd been playing with Grandma, but she'd gone to help Mommy with dinner. He liked having Grandma around. She was fun to play with.

Ever since Daddy had come home from the hospital, he'd been sleeping a lot. Mommy said it was because he was really sick, and the only way that he could feel better was to sleep.

Stepping into the room, Henry padded across the carpet to his daddy's side of the bed. Looking up onto the bed, he found Daddy awake, his eyes half closed.

"Hey Henry. You ok?" Will said, speaking softly.

"Uh huh," Henry nodded, looking down at his hands. Looking up again, he let out his little gasp as he noticed something he hadn't noticed before. "Daddy, you is bleeding!" he said in his childlike innocence, pointing to where a thin trickle of blood snaked from his daddy's nose.

"Yeah...can you go get Mommy for me?" Will asked gently. Henry nodded again, turning on his heel and running out of the room towards the kitchen, where JJ and Sandy were preparing dinner. Moving closer to JJ, he reached up and tugged on the hem of her shirt. JJ looked down to her right, putting down the lettuce she'd been shredding and kneeling down to Henry's height.

"Hey buddy. What do you need?" she asked softly, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Henry shook his head.

"No me. Daddy needs you," he relayed simply. JJ stood up, moving quickly out of the kitchen and down the hallway. Sandy remained rooted to her position, knowing it would be best to let JJ handle it. She knew that if it was bad, JJ would ask for help.

Henry made to follow, but was quickly rerouted to the lounge room upon hearing the Spongebob theme song ring out from the TV. Running through the cut-out from the kitchen, he bounced upon onto the couch, immediately giggling at the pirate singing on the TV.

JJ entered the master bedroom, stopping short at the side of the bed. Will was lying facing away from her. Leaning over slightly, she could just see a patch of blood on the pillowcase. Reaching down, she cupped his cheek in her hand, and gently turned his head to face her, revealing the glistening red trail on his cheek.

"Oh my god," she said softly, her tone filled with a heavy sadness. Fumbling behind her with her free hand, she grabbed some tissues and carefully wiped away the blood. Dropping them in the trashcan, she took a deep breath and lifted up the blankets to check for the one thing that Dr Ramsell had warned about.

"_End stage leukaemia usually drains the patient very quickly. You'll notice that when you take Will home, he'll probably sleep most of the day. Symptoms that also present in end stage include bleeding. He may suffer frequent nosebleeds, cough up or vomit blood, bruise easily, and he may suffer rectal bleeding"_

The blood on the sheets, while not an emergent amount, was unnerving to JJ.

"'S alright. Just the new medicine tryin'a save my goddamn kidneys," Will mumbled tiredly. JJ quirked an eyebrow at him as she flung the covers off of him.

"I wouldn't be goddamning them if I were you," she remarked. "We've got to get you up and changed," she added lightly, moving around to his side of the bed. Will groaned, pushing himself up to sit on the side of the mattress. JJ crossed the room, grabbing him a fresh pair of boxers and sweats from his drawer, before moving into the bathroom and setting them on the counter. Will shuffled in behind her, trying to stretch out an ache in his shoulder.

"Call out if you need me," JJ said softly as she stepped around him. Will nodded, pushing the door half closed as he got himself cleaned up.

Stripping the sheets off the bed, JJ carried them down the hall to the laundry, dropping them straight into the washing machine. Grabbing a new set from the shelf and a cloth from the sink, she moved back into the bedroom. Quickly, she scrubbed the pale red mark from the top of the mattress, before flipping it over and swiftly putting the fresh sheets on just as Will exited the bathroom, looking more awake than before.

"Feel better?" she asked, moving over to stand in front of him. Reaching down, she loosely took hold of his fingers, swinging their hands ever so slightly.

"A bit, yeah. I think it's stopped now," Will replied. "Thank god Henry came in. I didn't have the energy to call out"

"He's worried about you. He keeps asking while you're always sleeping," JJ told him.

"He's only little, JayJay. He'll understand eventually," Will said reassuringly. "Now, if you don't mind, I might come and join you for a little while. There's only so many times I can count the chips in the paint on the wall"

JJ laughed, letting go of one of his hands and leading him down the hall to the kitchen.

* * *

Will sat on the end of the couch, a sleeping Henry in his arms, while JJ and Sandy played a competitive game of Scrabble. He'd felt more awake than in recent days, managing to get through playing with Henry, dinner, and two games of Scrabble, before winding up in his current position.

"Ah! Mom!" JJ whined, making both Will and Sandy laugh. "Mom, boozled isn't a word!"

Will had to laugh at that one. "I believe it is," he teased. Sandy grinned.

"Yes. It is. Thank you, Will," she replied, nodding her head defiantly as JJ picked up the tile bag.

"I'm gonna go put the little man to bed," Will said softly, standing up with Henry in his arms. JJ nodded, watching him somewhat protectively as he carried Henry out of the room.

Will kissed his son's forehead as he entered the four year olds bedroom. As he settled Henry in his bed, the little boy stirred.

"Daddy..."

Will stopped rustling the covers, reaching up to brush Henry's blonde hair from his eyes. "Hey buddy. You go to sleep now, ok?" he said soothingly. Henry managed to open his eyes, fighting tiredness to look up at his daddy.

"I don't want you to go to Heaven. I want you to stay here with me and Mommy," he whimpered, his lower lip quivering. Will sensed an oncoming onslaught of tears and quickly gathered Henry into his arms, holding him on his hip and rubbing his back. As soon as he'd picked him up, Henry burst into tears.

JJ sprung into action as she heard the distraught cries of her child. Followed by her mother, she moved quickly into Henry's bedroom, finding Will standing in the middle of the room trying to comfort his son.

Together, she and Sandy wrapped their arms around father and son, attempting to provide comfort for something that would never heal.

* * *

Having settled Henry, and bid goodnight to Sandy as she retreated to the guest bedroom, Will moved into the bathroom to take a long needed shower.

As he stood there under the stream of hot water, the curtain rings scraped across the metal rod, signalling that JJ had entered the shower.

Pressing her body against his, JJ wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder, thankful for the water and steam; it hid the fact that she was crying.

Will wrapped his arms around her, running his hands up and down the smooth expanse of her back in an attempt to comfort her. No words were spoken. They simply stood like that in the shower cubicle until the water ran cold, not wanting to let go for all of eternity.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: My day was surprisingly uneventful. The end may prick your eyes with tears.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

Emily dropped herself down beside JJ on the rug as they watched their crazy dysfunctional family running riot in the LaMontagne backyard. Will, who if JJ was honest, looked like hell, had mustered up enough energy to come out and join them for a little while, and was now sitting with Rossi and Beth, laughing (however weak his laugh was, JJ was just glad to see him smiling) at something Rossi was saying.

Jack was perched on Hotch's shoulders, giggling as Hotch chased after Morgan, who had Henry on his shoulders. When Hotch tripped and fell into Morgan, sending the four of them crashing into the grass, they laughed hysterically. Garcia grinned, snapping photos of the four males in the grass, while Spencer watched his godson, smiling widely, standing just behind her.

"G'anma! Did you see me?" Henry shrieked happily as he sprinted across the grass and jumped into Sandy's open arms.

"I sure did, munchkin! You're a silly boy," she teased, tapping his nose. Henry giggled.

"I'm not silly, you are!" he laughed. Sandy laughed, turning and walking towards where her son-in-law was sitting.

Emily reached across, jostling JJ's knee slightly. "You ok? You look distracted," she said gently.

JJ shrugged, leaning back on her hands and heaving a sigh. "I'm just thinking...about how it won't be too long until all this is gone. We only have a matter of weeks," she replied heavily.

"You can't keep dwelling on the negatives, Jayje. You just have to enjoy the time you guys have left," Emily explained. Shuffling closer, she put her arm around the blonde. "You three are an amazing family...cherish the good times"

"It's just...," JJ trailed off, exhaling heavily to try and fight back the tears that were welling up in her eyes. "I'm going to miss so much about him when he's gone. The way he says my name...the way he looks at me when he's happy. I'm just going to miss him full stop," she said tearfully, bringing her hand up to wipe the lower line of her eyes.

"If you weren't going to miss him, we'd be a little worried about your relationship," Emily said lightly. JJ laughed weakly, sniffing. A moment of silence befell the two, before JJ let out a sob, causing the tears to spill freely. Looking up at Emily with heartbreaking tear filled blue eyes, she admitted something she'd been wanting to tell someone since Will first told her he was going to die.

"I'm t-t-terrified of it being jus-just me a-and Henry. I don't want...to be on my own," she stammered. Emily could feel the tears pricking her eyes as she pulled JJ into a tight hug. A quick glance around saw that no-one else had noticed. Emily was quietly glad that Will was still engrossed in conversation; he already worried enough about how JJ was coping without seeing her breaking down again.

"Jayje...you're not going to be on your own. You have all of us, you have your mom...and you know that no matter what, Will will always be with you"

* * *

"JJ," Will called out from his current position, curled on his side in their bed. When a few moments passed and she still hadn't come into the room, he called out again. "JJ"

JJ entered the room quickly, worry etched in expression. "What's wrong?" she asked anxiously.

Will winced as he moved slightly, sending pain through his abdomen. His spleen and liver had become enlarged and painful over the past few days, another stage that Dr Ramsell assured was normal. "I think I'm gonna be sick...but I can' move"

JJ's reflexes were honed by now (as was her iron stomach). Swiftly, she grabbed the bucket that had been used more frequently over the last couple of days and made it back to the bedside in record time. She held the bucket below his chin as he lifted his head from the pillow, rubbing small circles on his upper back as he emptied the contents of his stomach, which were minimal anyway due to his rapidly decreasing appetite.

Waiting until she was sure his vomiting had ceased, JJ moved back into the bathroom, dumping the bucket in the bottom of the shower and turning the water on. Grabbing a warm washcloth, she rung it out, and took it back to her sick husband, kneeling down beside the bed.

"You honestly must hate me," Will mumbled as she gently wiped his mouth.

"How could I ever hate you?" JJ said softly, setting the cloth down on the nightstand. Folding her forearms on the edge of the mattress, she rested her chin on them as she quirked her eyebrows at her husband.

"You spend all your time now lookin' after me. You can't go anywhere, 'cause I'm too sick to leave the house-"

"Will, I love you. I do this because I love you, and I care about you. I want you to be comfortable...," she trailed off, realising what she'd been about to say.

"When I go," Will finished for her. JJ nodded, swallowing thickly to quell the lump in her throat.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"It's ok...it's reality, we can't hide from it," he said reassuringly.

"I know, it's just..."

"JayJay...what were you cryin' about the other day? When you were talkin' to Emily?" Will asked softly. JJ's eyes darted up to his; she didn't think he'd noticed.

"Nothing," she mumbled. Will reached out, gently tipping her chin up.

"Don't lie to me," he teased gently. JJ sighed softly, looking straight into his mirror image blue eyes.

"I was saying...I'm terrified of it just being me and Henry, and that I don't want to be on my own," she said in a tear filled whisper. Will beckoned for her to come closer. She did so, allowing him to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I'm sorry that this has become your life. I'm sorry that this is your reality. I'm sorry that I'm the cause of your pain. I'm sorry that I won't be able to be there for you. But I promise that I'll always be with you in your heart"

* * *

Forcing his eyes open, Will squinted at the clock on his nightstand, reading that it was just past two in the morning. Sighing softly, he resettled under the covers, attempting to get comfortable in order to go to sleep. He had just closed his eyes when he heard a muffled sob coming from the other side of the bed.

It only took him a split second to realise JJ was crying.

Shuffling a little closer, he draped his arm over her side, pulling her in closer. JJ froze, trying to hide her tears.

"'S alright," he said softly. At that, she rolled over, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in against his neck, her tears soaking the collar of his T-shirt.

"It's ok," he whispered, rubbing her back as she clung onto him, not wanting to let go for all he was worth.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Short, yes.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

The phone conversation floated from the lounge room to the kitchen. JJ busied herself with getting Will something to eat so that she wouldn't have to focus on her mother's words.

Sandy had offered to call ahead to the funeral home and let them know that there was a death expected in the family. Seeing JJ's eyes brim with tears at the thought, she had pulled her daughter into a hug, and without another word, told her she would take care of it.

JJ picked up the plate that held Will's favourite snack; carrot and celery with refrigerated French onion dip. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, she carried them through to the bedroom, setting them down on Will's nightstand.

"JJ...that you?" he asked tiredly, his eyes half closed.

"Yeah," JJ replied softly, leaning down and kissing his cheek. He had gotten so pale over the past couple of weeks. What scared JJ the most was that after he'd lost the colour to his skin, the internal bleeding and bruising had left his skin a mottled purple, proving that the end was near. "Are you hungry?" she asked softly, brushing his thin hair out of his eyes.

Will turned his head to look at her. "Not really," he mumbled.

"You have to eat. At least a little," JJ insisted gently. Will shook his head slightly.

"I'm a lil' thirsty, though," he said softly. JJ put her arms around him, helping him sit up a bit, before slipping a straw into the water bottle so he could drink it relatively easily. After he'd taken a few small mouthfuls, JJ set it back down on the nightstand, before getting up beside Will and putting her arm around him. Looking up, she noticed Henry approaching the side of the bed.

"Daddy, I sit with you?" he asked. Will nodded, beckoning for him to climb up. As Henry pulled himself up, JJ noticed he was clutching tightly to his ratty stuffed panda; he'd taken to carrying it around ever since the night Will's kidneys had completely failed, and JJ couldn't remember a moment where it hadn't been in his hand.

Squeezing in between his parents, Henry absently played with the panda before looking up at Will. "Daddy, why is you purpley?" he asked innocently.

"Because of the sickness that I have...," Will replied simply, punctuating the sentence with a yawn.

"You need rest," JJ said immediately. Will shook his head, but his eyes were already drooping.

"'m...fine," he mumbled. Lifting Henry out of the way, JJ helped Will get more comfortable, draping the sheet over his already sleeping form.

"Daddy's tired," Henry said simply. JJ watched as her little boy navigated over the pillows and blankets to plant an innocent kiss on his Daddy's cheek, to whisper him a promise.

"Love you Daddy"

* * *

When JJ entered the bedroom to open the curtains and clean the bathroom, she found Will writing something on two separate envelopes. She hadn't even realised that he had been awake. Or that he'd obviously been out of bed to get the paper and pens he needed. She knew that the short walk to the desk on the other side of the room would've felt like running a fifty mile marathon for Will.

"What are you doing?" she asked softly, her voice just above a whisper as she approached the bed. Will looked up, taking her hands and gently pulling her to sit beside him. Taking the two envelopes, he pressed them into her hand.

"I want you to give this one," he started, pointing to one of the envelopes. His voice was so thin, so weak and thready...it unnerved JJ. "to Henry on his eighteenth birthday"

JJ looked down, realising that _Henry_ was written on one envelope in Will's neat cursive. On the other one, _Jennifer_ was written. She blinked back tears as she realised what it meant. Will knew his time was coming to an abrupt end sometime soon.

"The one for you...open that on our tenth weddin' anniversary," he said softly. JJ nodded numbly, tears spilling down her cheeks as she leaned towards him, wrapping her arms around him.

"You are the best father he could ever ask for," she whispered in his ear.

"Don't let him forget me. Please, JJ, don't let him forget," Will replied weakly, coughing slightly. JJ pressed a featherlight kiss to the joint of his jaw.

"I promise"

Helping him to lie down again, JJ was constantly wiping away her tears. Once he was asleep again (which took less than two minutes), she locked herself in the bathroom, sank down against the wall, and cried her broken heart out.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Another sad one. Kleenex warning!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

"Please, JJ...I need to feel somethin' other than this pain...I wanna remember what it's like to be so close to you," Will pleaded as JJ hovered a mere centimetre above his face.

In the darkness of their room, their lips had met with a soft passion, which quickly roared into a fire.

However weak Will was, however tired he was, however reluctant his body may have been, he wanted nothing more than to be intimate with JJ one last time.

And both of them were determined to make it happen.

Will kept a tired but steady gaze on JJ's beautiful blue eyes above him, tears filling his eyes as they moved with each other. They both knew that they would never share this again, and were set to make it memorable.

As JJ leaned down, pressing a kiss to his lips, their tears mingled on each other's skin, leaving a mark that would never go away.

A mark of love.

* * *

"How's he doing?" Sandy asked quietly as JJ pulled the door closed behind her.

"Tired. He's sleeping...when he's not sleeping, he's got a nosebleed or he's vomiting. He won't eat anything, and his pain is getting worse," JJ reported sadly. Sandy reached for her daughter's hands, taking them in her own.

"I know this is so hard on you, Jen...you've done so well, looking after Will and Henry, being there for Will 24/7. It's not easy. You managed. And Will will carry that with him. He appreciates everything you've done for him since he got sick," she said reassuringly, tipping JJ's chin up. JJ nodded, moving closer and pulling her mom in for a hug.

"Thank you for being here. I couldn't have done all this without you"

* * *

Carefully opening Henry's door, JJ stepped inside his bedroom, padding across the carpet to the bed and gently shaking her little angel awake.

"Mommy?" Henry mumbled, rubbing his eyes. It was dark outside. Why did he have to be up when the sun wasn't up?

JJ wiped her eyes as she pulled Henry's covers off of his little body.

"Come on baby boy," she beckoned gently. Taking Henry's hand, she coaxed him out of bed. Henry grabbed his panda with his free hand, and allowed Mommy to lead him from the room.

"Where we going?" he asked sleepily, slowly waking up as he padded across the floorboards beside Mommy. JJ stopped in the hallway, kneeling down in front of him and brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"It's time to say goodbye to Daddy"

* * *

Sandy watched from the darkened doorway of the guest bedroom, tears running silently down her face as Henry whimpered, clinging to JJ as she lifted him off the floor. Her tears began to overwhelm her as she watched JJ carry Henry into the master bedroom and silently shut the door behind them.

Going back to the bed in the guest bedroom, Sandy sat down on the edge of the mattress, clasping her hands together and looking up at the ceiling.

"Lord, please...take away his pain...let him pass peacefully...and let us not be in pain forever," she whispered, quietly pleading with a being she hadn't spoken to since she was just a little girl.

She liked Will. He was funny, smart, caring, and handsome. But the most important thing was that he made JJ happy and was an excellent father to Henry.

Lying down on her side, Sandy clutched at one of the pillows, knowing that she wouldn't be able to sleep.

How could she, knowing that in a matter of hours, there would be one less soul in the house?

Tears soaked the white fabric as she cried for yet another lost soul, another broken heart.

* * *

Resting her hand over his heart, JJ rested her head against Will's shoulder, listening to his breathing, which was getting shallower and shallower. Tears were falling thick and fast down her face. Henry was curled up against Will's other side, clutching tightly to Daddy's T-shirt.

"Henry," Will choked out.

"Yeah?" Henry replied sadly. His little eyes were filled with tears, and it broke Will's heart.

"I love you...so much little man. You'll always be my little man," Will whispered reassuringly. Henry nodded, clutching tighter to Will's shirt.

"I don't want you to go...," he whimpered. Will reached up weakly, running his fingers through his son's blonde hair.

"I know...but I promise...I'll always be with you...in here," he replied, gesturing to Henry's heart. "I love you"

"Love you too," Henry whispered as he tucked his panda into the crook of Daddy's arm.

Will turned his head towards JJ, his tired, half closed eyes focusing on her heartbreakingly beautiful face, streaked with tears.

"Don't cry," he said softly, his voice barely able to manage a whisper by now. "I love you...JayJay. I've said it...thousand times...say it again," he mumbled. "Love you"

JJ choked out a sob as she lifted her head to give him one last kiss. "I promise you won't be forgotten. I love you too," she whispered against his lips. With her right hand, she locked their fingers together, resting her left hand over his heart. Henry clutched to Will's shirt like a lifeline.

As she pulled away, his eyes fluttered closed, taking with them the blue she loved. Resting her head back against the crook of his neck, she cried quietly, her tears pooling on his skin. Henry's baby tears rapidly soaked the grey fabric beneath his head. He didn't want Daddy to go to Heaven.

JJ took a deep breath, committing to memory the way Will had always smelled so good on those weekend visits that were so long ago.

And in the seconds that followed...his heart stopped beating under her palm.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I'm getting a surfboard for Christmas!**

**Kleenex warning!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

The sun was just starting to peak above the horizon when Sandy pulled herself out of bed and into the kitchen to make something to eat. As she walked into the hallway, she noticed Henry coming out of the bedroom.

"Hey buddy...you ok?" she asked, noting his puffy eyes and tear streaked face. She knew he wasn't, but it was a habit question that she'd always asked her kids as they grew up.

"Daddy went to Heaven," he explained sadly. Sandy knelt down, pulling her grandson into a tight hug, tears pricking her eyes as she took in her grandson's pain. When she pulled back, she tucked his hair out of the way, taking his little hands in hers.

"Henry, you know how your daddy was very sick? And that the sickness made him hurt all the time?" she asked. Henry nodded, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his shirt.

"Well, in Heaven, he's not sick anymore. And he doesn't hurt," Sandy said gently.

"He got better?" Henry asked. Sandy nodded. "Can he come back now?"

Sandy shook her head sadly. "If he comes back, he'll get sick again. He's up there with your grandad. They're watching over you, protecting you"

"And Mommy?"

"And Mommy," Sandy assured. Henry seemed satisfied with the explanation, but that didn't stop him from missing his daddy.

"Did you give your daddy a kiss goodbye?" Sandy asked gently. Henry shook his head, clutching tightly to his panda.

"How about you go and give Daddy a kiss goodbye?" she suggested softly. Taking Henry's hand, she led him to the door, waiting in the hall as he slipped inside. Through the gap in the door, she could see from the waist down, Will's lifeless form, and JJ curled up beside him. She watched as Henry climbed back onto the bed, disappearing from sight for a moment. A few seconds passed, and then Henry returned to Sandy's side, slipping his hand into hers.

* * *

Garcia watched from where she was perched on Reid's desk as Hotch ended a phone call, closing his eyes and hanging his head as he put the phone back down on his desk.

"Something bad's happened," she informed the two men sitting behind her as she stood up.

"What's happened?" Rossi asked as he walked past them on the way to his office.

"Something bad," Garcia repeated as Hotch exited his office and nodded towards the conference room.

"What do you think it is?" Reid asked as he sidled up beside Morgan. Morgan shrugged, stepping through the door to the conference room and taking a seat.

"We got a case?" Rossi asked once everyone was sitting down. Hotch shook his head, leaning on the back of the chair in front of him. Taking a deep breath, he looked up, glancing around at the group.

"I just spoke to JJ's mom...Will passed away last night," he said softly. Garcia's eyes filled with tears as her hand automatically found Morgan's. Reid looked lost for words, while Rossi's eyes were awfully bright. They sat in silence for what felt like eternity, coming to grips with the reality that Will was gone. They'd lost one of their own...

"How's JJ?" Morgan asked, his voice barely a whisper as he broke the silence. He couldn't even begin to imagine the pain and loss JJ had to be feeling. Sure, he'd lost his dad, but the love that JJ and Will had shared...you don't find it twice.

"I don't know...but from experience...she's probably feeling lost. She won't really know what to do with herself for a while," Hotch said gently. The others looked up in slight surprise.

It was the first time Hotch had ever mentioned his feelings towards Haley's death.

* * *

JJ was fighting exhaustion as she lay curled against Will's lifeless body. It had probably been about five hours since he had passed, but JJ couldn't bring herself to leave him just yet.

Reaching up, she tucked a stray bit of hair out of his face, her fingers lingering on his skin. He looked so peaceful now. He wasn't fighting his losing battle anymore.

Now, he could rest. Truly rest.

JJ kissed the back of his hand, which was still loosely entwined with hers. "You were the first man that I knew I'd fallen in love with...and the first man to ever love me back," she said softly, a faint smile shining through her tears as she remembered the butterflies she used to get whenever she thought about him.

Heck, she still got those butterflies sometimes.

"You helped me realise that I didn't need to run away, that I wasn't going to get hurt...you showed me what true love is," she whispered. Carefully, she began to pull her hand away, but felt her fingers glide over metal.

Taking the gold band between her fingers, she gently slipped it off, clutching it tightly to her chest as she lay her head down against his shoulder.

Within seconds, she gave in to exhaustion, and for the last time, fell asleep curled up by Will's side.

* * *

JJ woke up alone and cold, curled up in a ball on top of the crumpled sheets. For a moment, she just stared at the space where Will had last lain, and upon realising that he was no longer there, fresh tears began to fall.

He really was gone. The time she'd had with him after he'd passed, it felt like at any moment, he could wake up.

Now it was real.

Pushing herself up, her head spun from lying down so long, from shedding so many tears. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her nose was running. She felt like a complete wreck.

Dragging herself into the bathroom, she set Will's wedding ring, which was still in her hand, down on the counter. Stripping away her pyjamas, she tossed them in the hamper, before turning the shower on scalding hot and stepping in. As the water pounded against her skin, so did the memories.

"_I'm gonna do somethin' adventurous," Will growled in JJ's ear as he pushed her up against the wall of the shower. She gasped as the freezing cold ceramics came in contact with her skin. She barely had time to register the cold before Will had kissed her deeply, but at the same time, teasingly dipped his fingers between her legs._

"_God, Will!" she exclaimed as he teased her intimates._

"_I bet you've never had shower sex before," Will said playfully, grinning at her in that way that she loved._

"_Can't...say I have," JJ choked out in reply as his other hand teased her nipples._

"_Well then...let me show you just how much fun it can be," Will promised, stopping the teasing as he lifted her up and pressed her against the wall again, capturing her lips in a deep kiss._

Exiting the shower, JJ realised she was crying again.

Somehow, she managed to find some fresh pyjamas before she fell into bed, burying herself under the covers completely. She took a deep breath as she felt the weight on her entire body, the comfort the blankets offered.

It reminded her of those nights when, after making love countless times, JJ would lie, spent, in Will's arms, feeling protected and safe as he ran his fingers through her hair and whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

She wanted that back.

* * *

After someone from the funeral home had come and taken Will away, Henry had fallen asleep on the couch. Sandy was heartbroken when he started having bad dreams, calling out for Will, crying for his daddy.

Having soothed him into a somewhat restful sleep, Sandy moved towards the back of the house, and slipped into the master bedroom. The room was dark, despite the fact that it was mid afternoon. The curtains were drawn and the lights were out.

JJ lay on her side, facing away from Sandy, but her body was shaking with soft sobs.

Sandy climbed up behind JJ, laying down behind her and pulling her grieving daughter into her arms.

"_Mommy?" a little voice whispered, cutting through the darkness and silence of the house. Sandy forced her eyes open, turning her head slightly towards the alarm clock. 1:00am._

_A flash of lightning shot through the window, lighting up the room momentarily. It was closely followed by a loud crack of thunder as rain hammered down on the roof._

"_Mommy," the voice whimpered again. This time, Sandy managed to identify it as her little four year old, Jennifer._

"_Jen, sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked, knowing full well what was wrong._

"_I'm scared," JJ whispered, her voice laced with tears. "Can I stay with you?"_

_Sandy said nothing, just lifted the covers, allowing JJ to scoot in. Dropping the covers back down, she tucked JJ in, pulling her back against her and holding her tight. A shock of cold on her knees made her gasp._

"_Jennifer Alana Jareau, your feet are freezing!" she hissed, making JJ giggle. Smiling, she kissed her youngest daughter's temple as she wrapped her arms around her, protecting her from the storm._

"It's going to be ok," Sandy whispered softly, repeating herself every now and then as she loosely played with the ends of JJ's golden hair.

"I already miss him so much," JJ choked out.

"I know...I know...I promise that one day, the pain will go away. But for now, you just have to stay strong and fight through it all. You have me, you have Henry, you have your team. You _will _get through this," Sandy assured, pulling JJ closer. JJ turned over to face Sandy, burying her face in against her mother's shoulder, the way she always had when she was a little girl.

Because no matter what, her mother was always her biggest protector.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Short, but it has a definite Henry Kleenex warning.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM**

* * *

A light breeze ruffled through the trees as the gathering stood in the beautiful gardens of the cemetery. The day was warm, and the sun was shining, but the atmosphere at the cemetery was not.

It was the first time since Will had died that the team had seen JJ as they gathered to bid their friend goodbye. She looked like she'd hardly slept, and held the expression they'd all expected; utterly shattered, but holding herself together.

As JJ stood at the end of Will's coffin, her words of love for Will tumbling off her lips, Henry stood beside her, a sombre expression on his little angel face as he clutched tightly to JJ's hand.

Faithfully held in his other hand was the stuffed panda.

"Before I met Will, I'd never felt truly loved. I'd never felt love myself. But when I met him...when I first laid eyes on him...I swooned. Like a schoolgirl falling over her favourite celebrity. It didn't take long for me to realise that I'd fallen in love with him," JJ read out loud, causing tears to prick the eyes of those who were there. "Will was everything I'd always dreamed of. Smart, caring, handsome, and gentle. I loved his accent, the way he said my name. He was also a very good flirt," she said, smiling ever so slightly as tears began to fill her eyes. A light laugh emanated from the gathering, lightening the atmosphere. Reaching up with her free hand, JJ held Will's wedding ring, which now hung on a chain around her neck, in between her fingers.

"Will helped me to realise that I didn't need to run from every chance I got, because no matter what you do, there's a chance you could get hurt...but it's a chance you have to take. He showed me what true love is. Will was a wonderful father to our son, Henry, and I don't want him to be forgotten. I don't want any of his qualities to be forgotten. Because Will was an incredible person, who became a part of my entire world, who I loved to no end. He wouldn't want us to be upset over his death, but to cherish the times we had with him," JJ reminded them, before taking a deep breath as tears spilled over.

"Will, we love you. We're all going to miss to you to no end," she said softly, placing her hand against the polished wood of the coffin as people moved to place their flowers on the coffin.

* * *

JJ held Henry on her hip as they stood beside the coffin, looking at all the different colours and varieties of flowers that sat on top. By now, everyone had left, and only the team and Sandy remained, waiting by the edge of the cemetery to give JJ and Henry some privacy.

Henry reached out, putting his flower on top of the others. JJ followed suit, placing hers beside Henry's. They waited for a moment before JJ spoke.

"Blow Daddy a kiss," she said softly. Henry pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand, before blowing it towards where his father lay. JJ pressed her hand to the wood, closing her eyes for a moment.

"I love you," she whispered. "That's never going to change"

Hesitantly, she stepped back from the coffin, turning towards where the others were waiting, and beginning the walk across the grass.

"Mommy, wait!" Henry suddenly exclaimed, squirming to get down. JJ put him down on his feet, turning and watching as he ran back to the coffin. Tears burned her eyes as she watched her baby boy reach up and put his beloved stuffed panda on top of the flowers. As he let go of the ratty old animal, JJ could not have been prouder of her little man.

Henry ran back over to JJ, clutching to her as she swung him back up onto his hip. "Daddy can have him now. To keep him safe," he offered up as an explanation. JJ gave him a watery smile as she kissed his temple. She and Will had created such a beautiful, generous little boy. In that moment, she couldn't have been more pleased with who her baby had grown up to become.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: No more updates until about Friday (Thursday for US). Year 11 camp this week!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

The week leading up to the funeral, JJ had refused to leave the bedroom. Instead, she had lain in the dark, grieving Will's death.

After the funeral, she pulled herself together enough to face getting up each day. Henry was constantly patting her knee and telling her not to be sad...which in turn led to more tears. Sandy had opted to stay in DC with JJ until she was sure that she was going to be ok on her own, and had become a sturdy support system for her broken hearted daughter.

At that point on Monday afternoon, JJ was curled up on the outdoor lounge chair while Henry napped inside. The sun was shining brightly and the day was warm. Absently, JJ played with Will's wedding ring as she gazed up at the clear blue sky.

"_What do you think about havin' kids someday?" Will asked suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence that had hung over them as they lay in one of JJ's lounge chairs. JJ was lying back against his chest while he gently played with her hair._

"_Will! We've only been together for six months!" JJ exclaimed, sitting up and turning to face him. Will grinned, shrugging._

"_I know, cher, but I'm just thinkin' ahead," he offered up. JJ half smiled, realising what he meant._

"_You mean you can see us having a future together?" she asked gently._

"_And you don't?" Will replied, looking somewhat upset. JJ hastily covered herself._

"_No, no, that's not what I meant!" she exclaimed hurriedly. "What I mean to say is...you actually want to have a future...with me?"_

_Will gave her his lazy smile, which she loved, pulling her into his arms. "I know you're insecure about relationships...but who wouldn't want a future with you? You're the sweetest, smartest, and most beautiful woman I've ever met. I love you, JJ, and that's never going to change," he promised, kissing the top of her head, the sweet smell of her strawberry shampoo hitting his senses._

_JJ smiled as she lay back in his arms. The thought of having a future with Will...carrying his children...yeah, that didn't sound so bad._

JJ was broken from her reverie when someone tapped her shoulder. Looking to her right, she found her mother standing beside her with two cups of coffee in her hands.

"Thanks," she said softly, taking the one Sandy was holding out to her. Holding it between her hands, she took a long sip of the hot beverage. Staring down at the brown substance in the mug, she took a deep breath.

"How do I do this? How do I go about my everyday life when I feel like my whole world is about to come crashing down?" she asked honestly, looking up at her mother. Sandy put her cup down on the small table between the chairs, sitting forward and gently taking one of JJ's hands between her own.

"You live your life from now for Henry. You live it for you," she said gently.

"How do I live it for myself when I feel like most of me died with Will?" JJ countered.

"I know how incredibly hard this is, Jen. Trust me, I felt the same way when your father died. I'm not going to lie to you, it is very hard to get past the pain, the grieving...but one day, sometime in the future, the pain will be nonexistent, and you'll be able to think about Will without hurting. In the meantime, you have to hold your head high, cherish the happy memories you made with Will, and try to see that, despite the fact that he's gone, there is still light...still happiness. It'll take some time, but you'll find a way to cope with the grief," Sandy explained gently. JJ nodded, pressing her lips together tightly as her fingers sought out the ring on the chain around her neck. Noticing that her mother was watching her closely, she lifted the ring, holding it out for her mother to see clearly.

"It helps...having it so close. It was his symbol of love for me...and just having it with me makes it feel as though a part of him is still here...his love for me is still here," she explained softly. Sandy moved over to sit beside her daughter, putting her arms around her and pulling her into a hug.

"Those sorts of feelings will help you in the long run. In the meantime, I'm here for you. Whenever you want to talk, have a shoulder to cry on...you come to me. No-one does that better than your own mother, right?" she chided playfully. JJ responded with a watery smile, nodding in agreement.

"Right," she agreed, wiping away at the tears that had begun to form in her eyes.

"I'm going to go and get some groceries for you-"

"Mom, you don't have to do that-"

"Jen, I know that what you want right now is to curl up at home and try to deal with your emotions. Grocery shopping is not going to help that," Sandy scolded lightly. JJ nodded, picking up the two cups of coffee and following her mother inside.

"Want anything in particular?" Sandy asked as JJ rinsed the mugs and set them on the drainer.

"A big jar of Nutella," JJ mumbled.

"Comfort food?"

JJ nodded. Damn, her mother knew her well.

"Alright. I'll be back soon"

With a jangle of keys, the slam of the front door, and a roar of a car engine, Sandy was gone, leaving JJ and Henry alone in the house that now felt so much bigger.

As she stood in the kitchen, her arms wrapped tightly around her body as she hugged herself, JJ heard Henry rousing from his nap. Moving silently towards his bedroom, she pushed the door open to find her little angel curled up under his blankets, his blue eyes foggy with sleep.

"Hey little man. Did you have a good sleep?" she asked softly, crossing the room and sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"Uh huh," Henry started to say, but was cut off by his tummy rumbling loudly. He giggled, making JJ laugh properly for the first time since Will died. She'd heard all these 'miracle' stories before, where widows wouldn't smile or laugh for years after their husband died, but then something amazing would happen that would make them smile.

All she needed was her precious little angel to make her laugh.

"Your tummy has made itself known. Let's get something to eat, yeah?" JJ suggested. Henry nodded, slipping his hand into hers as she led him from the room.

Climbing up on the counter stool, Henry leant on the counter on his elbows as JJ stood on the other side.

"What would you like?" she asked. Henry pondered for a moment, pressing the tip of his finger to his chin as he looked up at the ceiling. JJ had to smile at the gorgeous expression.

"Can I have some of Daddy's favourite dip?" he finally asked. JJ nodded, moving to the fridge and grabbing the container of French Onion dip and the container of carrot and celery sticks. Removing the lids, she placed both in front of Henry, watching as he grabbed a carrot and dug it into the cold savoury substance.

"_How the hell can you eat that stuff? It stinks," JJ laughed as Will stood at the kitchen counter with the French Onion dip and some crackers._

"_Easy. It tastes amazin'," he replied with a grin, taking an exaggerated bite from a loaded cracker. JJ wrinkled her nose; she couldn't stand the smell of French Onion dip. It really got to her._

"_You know what else tastes amazin'?" Will asked, putting the snack down and moving around the counter towards her._

"_What?" JJ replied, taking a step backwards._

"_You," Will said seductively, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him._

"_You are not kissing me when you've been eating that stuff," JJ laughed, trying to pull away. Will captured her lips in a deep kiss, grinning when she pulled away._

"_Will! Gross!" she shrieked, laughing as he kissed her neck feverishly, trying to push him away. "Aha!...Will! Stop!" she giggled as he walked them back towards the couch. With a low growl in her ear, Will spun them around so that they landed on the couch._

_French Onion dip aside, JJ was lost for wards as he worked magic on her body, more than happy to oblige to an afternoon of making love on the couch._

As the smell wafted towards her, JJ noticed it was more distinct than she remembered.

So was the memory.

Whirling around, she leant over the sink and violently expelled the contents of her stomach into the basin, tears streaming down her face as she remembered that afternoon on the couch.

Coughing, she took a step backwards, only to have her legs give out underneath her. Collapsing back against the cupboards, she hastily tried to wipe away her tears.

"Mommy!" Henry cried out, leaping off the stool and running to her.

And with his heart of pure gold and personality like his father, he reached out with his little fingers and gently wiped away the tears that were making tracks down his mother's cheeks.

"I love you, Henry," JJ whispered, pulling him into her lap.

"I yuv you too," Henry replied, curling up and burying his face in the crook of her neck. "It's gonna be ok," he whispered, remembering what his daddy had told him when Izzy came to their house.

"I know buddy. I know," JJ whispered back, stroking his soft blonde hair as they sat there on the kitchen floor, beginning to come to terms with their terrible loss.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Well, I wouldn't do camp again if my life depended on it. Beds sucked, food sucked, activities sucked. Camp sucked.**

**KLEENEX WARNING FOR BOTH HENRY AND JJ!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

"_He's runnin' for it! He shoots! SCORE!" Will shouted, making Henry laugh. Henry picked up the ball and ran across the yard._

"_Foul! Foul! Handball!" Will cried, chasing after him. JJ laughed from where she stood holding the camera. She couldn't fight off the grin as Will gently tackled his little boy to the ground._

"_Daddy!" Henry giggled, dropping the ball and squirming to get out of Will's arms. Will held tighter, growling playfully in Henry's ear, making the little boy squeal with laughter._

JJ laughed with tears in her eyes as she watched Will and Henry's antics on the TV screen. The three weeks since the funeral had been a rollercoaster of emotion for all of them.

She had found a longing to hear Will's voice again, and had pulled out the box of home videos from the bottom of the cupboard. Choosing one, she had put it in the DVD player before curling up on the couch.

"_Mommy!" Henry shrieked, tears running from his eyes as he laughed. _

"_You're on your own buddy," JJ laughed._

"_You're not gonna save him, JayJay?" Will drawled. JJ laughed again. Will flipped Henry over onto his back and lightly tickled the little boy._

"I miss you," JJ said softly, slipping the tip of her index finger through Will's wedding ring, feeling the comfort she got from that simple action. A single tear slipped out over her lower lashes, leaving a glinting trail as it slowly tracked down her cheek. Will's laughter echoed from the video before it ended, leaving the screen to go black.

* * *

Sandy sat at the kitchen table, sipping her coffee, as JJ stood by the bin, throwing newspaper after newspaper into the bag. Henry had gone back to preschool for the first time since Will had reached end stage. He'd not wanted to go at first, but when JJ told him it Kate and Alicia's turn to take him (JJ was certain he had a little thing for Alicia), he'd practically skipped out the front door to Kate's car.

"Jen, why don't you just throw them out when you've read them instead of hoarding them?" she asked.

"Henry likes to draw moustaches on all the politicians, and every time he sees a picture of Barack Obama, he cuts his head off. I really wonder what's going to happen to him when he's older," JJ replied simply. Sandy laughed, shaking her head as she got up to put her mug in the sink.

"Do you think he'll be alright today?" JJ asked softly as she closed the bin again. Sandy turned, leaning back against the sink.

"I think he'll be fine. He's tough. Just like his mom," she said warmly, stepping forward and putting her arm around JJ's shoulders.

* * *

Samantha couldn't hold back the smile on her face as she watched her class of preschoolers playing with their fathers. She knew a 'Daddy/Preschooler' day had been a great idea, because besides giving the kids some quality time with their dads, it also gave her a chance to get to know some of the fathers better.

Turning around, she laughed as she watched Lachlan telling his dad off for 'not playing with the rice right'. Lachlan picked up a handful of the coloured rice that the kids loved, and showed his dad how to do it properly.

However, looking past Lachlan and his dad, her expression fell as she noticed one little boy sitting on his own in the corner of the room, watching everyone else wistfully. Her heart sank as she realised, that for Henry LaMontagne, the Daddy/Preschooler day maybe hadn't been such a great idea after all.

Crossing the room, she sat down beside the four year old. "Hey Henry. What are you doing?" she asked softly. Henry looked down at his lap, where one of the preschool's well used action figures was clutched tightly in his hand.

"Nuffing," he mumbled, somewhat sadly.

"Nothing? That's not too good, is it?" Sam replied lightly. Henry shook his head, but continued to look at his lap.

Looking up, Sam noticed Lachlan's dad, Michael, beckoning for Henry to join them so that he wouldn't feel left out. "Henry, would you like to play with Lachlan and his daddy?" she suggested gently. Henry shook his head again.

"I want _my_ daddy," he whimpered. Sam's eyes were beginning to sting with tears as she watched every other child giggling and playing with their fathers, while Henry sat on his own.

"What about you play with me?" she offered. Henry shook his head again, but this time he looked up at Sam. Tears ran down his little cheeks, breaking Sam's heart.

"I want my mommy," he said tearfully, his voice wavering. Sam swallowed thickly so that she wouldn't cry. She hated seeing the kids upset.

"What about Lily? I can get Lily to come and play with you," she said lightly. Lily was the kid's favourite teacher's aide. She was young, only in her early twenties, with chestnut brown hair that hung to her waist. She loved all the kids, but Sam knew she had a soft spot for Henry.

"Want Mommy," Henry said again, his lower lip quivering as more tears spilled over.

"Ok sweetie, let's go call Mommy," Sam gave in. Standing up, she lifted Henry up to her hip and carried him to the staff room at the back of the classroom. Entering the room, she found Lily, the youngest but most experienced teacher's assistant, and Anna, a slightly older woman who had started a week earlier, on their break, laughing as they swapped old stories.

"Here, Henry, you sit in my chair-"

"Can I sit with Lily?" Henry asked, his tiny voice shaking slightly. Sam looked towards Lily, who was already walking towards them to take Henry from her arms.

"Hi there Henry! I haven't seen you in a while!" Lily said happily, taking Henry back over to her seat, while Anna got up and followed Sam over to the contacts book.

"What's wrong?" she asked, standing against the table with her arms folded across her chest.

"Henry's upset because his daddy isn't here for Daddy/Preschooler day. I couldn't seem to cheer him up, so I'm calling his mom to come and get him. If he stays here all day, he's just going to feel miserable, and I don't want him to be upset all day," Sam explained.

"What? His dad isn't here? Who does that to their kid, just leaves them on their own for a day like this-"

"Anna, his dad died four weeks ago. He had end stage leukaemia," Sam cut in softly. Anna froze, her expression softening.

"Oh god. Poor kid. I had no idea," she said, a lot quieter than before. Sam nodded, turning back to the contacts book to find Jennifer LaMontagne. Anna turned around, watching the cute little boy as Lily worked on making him smile.

"Here kiddo, let's play a game. You're gonna hold on really tight to the armrest," Lily instructed, watching as Henry clutched the armrests. "Good. And I'm gonna spin you around, ok?" she asked. Henry nodded, a little smile cutting through his tears. Lily stood up, spinning the chair around gently, so as to not throw him off. Henry's little giggles were still somewhat tearful, but he definitely sounded like he was cheering up.

* * *

JJ stepped inside the preschool, immediately wishing she'd just kept Henry home when she saw all the kids and their dads playing together. She'd barely taken a sweeping glance when Henry came sprinting across the room from the door of the staff room. Kneeling down, JJ caught him in her arms, knowing that he was pretty upset when he immediately buried his face in her shoulder.

"Hey buddy. You ok?" she asked softly, prying him back for a minute to take a look at his face. His eyes were glistening with tears and red rimmed, and his cheeks were tear stained. "Oh my little man, come here," she said gently, pulling him into a tight hug as Sam and Lily approached them. Standing up, she held Henry on her hip.

"I'm really sorry about this. I probably should've thought it through a little more," Sam said apologetically.

"It's alright. Today was the day he goes with Alicia from next door, so I never even knew about it until you called," JJ replied.

"Like I said, I probably should've given it a little more thought. I never wanted to upset anyone, especially Henry," Sam added. "How are you holding up?"

"We're taking it day by day, aren't we little man?" JJ said softly, tipping Henry's chin up. Henry nodded slightly, before burying his face in JJ's shoulder again.

"Hopefully we'll see Henry tomorrow?" Sam asked. JJ thought for a moment, before shrugging.

"I don't know. I'll see what he feels like doing in the morning. I don't want to force him to come if he's not up to it, given what he's been through," she explained. Sam nodded. They exchanged a few more words, before JJ grabbed Henry's backpack and turned to leave.

* * *

Sandy had gone to visit a friend, leaving JJ and Henry alone in the house as dark storm clouds closed in. JJ curled up in the window seat in the lounge room, Henry in her lap, with his head resting against her chest. Rain streamed down the window as thunder boomed in the distance.

They'd been sitting there for about half an hour when JJ suddenly felt a strange sensation in the pit of her stomach.

"Henry, buddy, you're gonna have to move! Quick," she said hurriedly. Henry scampered off of her lap, watching with a bewildered expression as JJ flew towards the kitchen, making it to the sink just in time for her stomach to reject its contents.

Henry slid off the window seat. What did Mommy do whenever _he_ was sick?

Tissues and a cup of water.

Picking up the box of tissues, he carried them into the kitchen and put them on the table. Managing to open the fridge, he found the water bottle he'd seen Mommy put in there earlier and reached up to get it down.

"Mommy," he said softly. JJ rinsed her mouth, running the tap into the basin before turning around. She smiled weakly, tears running down her face as she took the bottle Henry was holding out to her. Sitting down against the cupboards, she pulled Henry into her lap.

"You're the best little boy I could ever ask for, little man," she said softly, taking a mouthful of water before kissing his cheek. Henry smiled, snuggling into her chest.

* * *

The five minutes were killing her. Her eyes were wide, her stomach was churning, and it was taking all the control she had not to hyperventilate. She focused on the sounds of Henry and Sandy's voices as they laughed and played in the lounge room.

The timer she'd set went off. JJ froze. She couldn't bring herself to move closer and take a look.

Taking a deep breath, she reached out, picking it up in her hand. Bringing it in front of her, she looked down.

Dropping it on the floor, JJ lost control. Swinging out, her clenched fist connected with the mirror, causing the glass to shatter and rain down on the countertop.

She was crying hysterically when she hit the floor, curled up in a ball against the wall.

This wasn't happening. This _couldn't_ happen. Not when it was just her and Henry.

Her mind was screaming as tears pooled on the floor beneath her.

She was pregnant.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I wanted to go to Comic Con...stupid Australia.**

**Mild Kleenex warning.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

Upon hearing the shatter of glass and JJ's heartbroken cry, Sandy leapt to her feet.

"Henry, sweetie, wait here, ok?" she said gently. Henry nodded, jumping up on the couch and flipping through the TV channels until he found the Cartoon Network.

Hurrying towards the bathroom, Sandy worried about what had happened. JJ had seemed to be doing ok. She hadn't been crying as much, and her smile broke through more often.

Pushing open the bathroom door, Sandy found JJ curled up against the wall, the knuckles on her right hand slashed open from punching the mirror.

"Jen...what's wrong?" she asked softly, kneeling down beside her, careful to avoid the glass.

JJ fumbled through the broken glass, cutting her fingertips as she closed her hand around the pregnancy test. Pressing it into her mother's hand, she buried her face in her now folded arms.

Sandy's heart fell as she realised the test was positive.

This was a definite downfall.

"I can't do this...not by myself-"

"You're not by yourself. You have me and your team-"

"But I don't have Will!" JJ snapped, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. "I don't have Will in the time when I need him the most! This child is never going to know its father!" she exclaimed angrily. "Just when I thought I could start moving on, _this_ happened! I can't go through this without Will, it was hard enough the first time when he was actually there!"

Sandy pulled her hysterical daughter into her arms, kissing the top of her blonde head as she sobbed heartbreaking tears into her mother's shoulder. "I can't even begin to imagine how you feel right now, Jen. But I do know some things for sure," she said soothingly, running the tips of her fingers through the lengths of JJ's golden tresses. "You can't give up. You can't give up on this child, because everything happens for a reason. That child is a part of you, and a part of Will, and in nine months, will be a living, breathing reminder of how much Will loved you"

"It's fresh pain...," JJ whispered. "It's another reminder of just how alone Henry and I are"

"I know...I know...but like I promised before...that will go away one day. You wait and see, this child is going to help you move on. I can promise that. And I can also promise that you are _not_ alone. There are so many people around you that would be at your side in a heartbeat, Jen, don't ever forget that," Sandy said reassuringly.

"Promise?" JJ sniffed, her eyes blurred from tears.

"I promise," Sandy replied, kissing JJ's temple before settling back against the wall, her arms tightly around her daughter.

* * *

JJ lay back against the headboard on the bed she had once shared with Will. Her hands lay on her still flat stomach. There was a small smile on her face, despite the tears that had welled in her eyes.

It was like Will had left behind his love for her. In a physical form.

Listening to her mother's words, JJ had realised she was right. A baby wasn't such a terrible thing. She might not have Will, but she definitely had the team and her family there to support her.

"Mommy?" Henry said softly. JJ turned her head, spotting Henry in the doorway. Patting the spot beside her, she smiled as Henry leapt up onto the bed and snuggled into her side.

"Hey little man...what's up?" she asked.

"Why did you break somefing the 'smorning?" he replied innocently. JJ took a breath, lifting Henry so that he was sitting in her lap.

"I was scared, buddy," she started gently.

"Why?"

JJ ran her hand through Henry's blonde hair, tucking it behind his ears. "Because I'm going to have a baby"

Henry's eyes widened as he smiled. "You havin' a baby?"

JJ smiled, nodding as she kissed his forehead. "I sure am, buddy"

"Why you scared?" Henry asked sweetly. JJ bit her lip, not quite sure how to respond. Hugging him tightly, she swallowed before speaking.

"Because...when I had you...Daddy helped me. But this time...I have to have the baby by myself," she explained as best as she could. Henry reached up, putting his arms around her neck.

"You has me, Mommy, I help you," he said warmly. A single tear escaped JJ's eye as she buried her face in against the curve of her gorgeous boy's neck.

"I love you little man," she whispered, holding him as close as she could. Henry giggled, cuddling closer, but not before he lifted his head to kiss her cheek.

JJ smiled, pecking his little lips, a little thing she and Henry always did. She hoped that Henry's little brother or sister was as sweet and kind hearted as her little angel.

* * *

Emily smiled when she opened her door to find Morgan standing on the doorstep. "Hey stranger," she teased, stepping aside to allow her former colleague into the house. "You forget where I lived or something?"

"A'ight, a'ight," Morgan laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. "Been busy, but I'm here now, aren't I?"

Looking around, he realised that all of Emily's belongings were still strewn around the condo. "I thought you were leaving tonight?" he asked, turning around. Emily shook her head.

"I'm staying for a bit longer. For JJ," she explained. "I want to be here for her"

Morgan smiled softly, nodding slightly. "We all do. She's family"

"I want to do something for her...but I don't know what. _Is _there anything we can do?" Emily sighed. Morgan reached out, placing his hand on Emily's shoulder.

"We be her friend. Her confidante. Her shoulder to cry on. She'll appreciate that much"

* * *

JJ smiled as Henry put his toothbrush back in the cup on the counter, kneeling down and patting the small of his back as she looked at him.

"Buddy, I have an idea. Something you can do before you go to bed, if you like," she said softly. Henry's eyes lit up; any excuse not to go to bed was a good one in his books.

Slipping his little hand into his mommy's, he padded softly through the house behind her. He watched as she grabbed matches and candles from the kitchen, before leading him to the master bedroom.

Sitting down at the dresser, JJ lifted Henry into her lap. Carefully, she lit the candles, and set them either side of one of the pictures of Will.

"Do you want to talk to Daddy?" she asked softly. Henry nodded. Reaching up, JJ took one of the candles and placed it in Henry's hands, keeping her hands over his to prevent an accident.

"Go on," she encouraged gently.

"Hi Daddy," Henry started uncertainly, looking up at JJ for confirmation. When she nodded, he continued. "I misses you lots and lots. On Tuesday, there was a Daddy day at pweschool, and I got sad, 'cause you weren't there. Mommy is sad lots...can your angel powers make her happy?"

JJ choked back a sob as tears spilled over her lower lashes. However, she couldn't fight off the smile that Henry had brought to her face.

"I yuv you," Henry said softly. "Night night. Sleep tight. No let the bed bugs bite"

Lifting the candle from his hands, JJ wrapped her arms around Henry, hugging him tightly.

"Momma, you hug me too tight," Henry giggled. JJ loosened her hold on him, kissing the top of his head.

"Sorry buddy...I just love you so much," she replied. Henry smiled.

"I yuv you too, Mommy," he said softly, standing up on JJ's knees and wrapping his arms around her neck.

"Oh...nice hug buddy, but you are _heavy_!" she exclaimed, lifting him up as she stood, somehow getting him onto her back so she could piggyback him back to his room. Henry giggled as she carried him back to his room.

Once he was settled, she returned to the dresser, pulling her knees up to her chest. Looking at the photo of Will, she wiped away her tears.

"I miss you...this has been so much harder than I thought it was going to be," she sighed, running the tip of her fingers over the curve of his face. "I've had some rough patches...but I'm doing ok. We're both doing ok. We just miss you so much it hurts"

Heaving a deep breath, she brought one hand down to her stomach. "We're having another baby...but for some reason, I feel like you probably already knew that," she said softly, smiling. "I'm going to take it day by day...Henry and I will get through this. I love you"

Leaning forward, her gaze lingered momentarily on Will's smiling face, before she blew out the candles, plunging the room into darkness.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I give credit to Whatif-ifonly for the idea for this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

_JJ inhaled sharply as she felt a small stab of pain in her lower abdomen. Placing her hand over her tiny bump, she closed her eyes, leaned heavily against the dresser, and counted to ten. As soon as she had reached ten, the pain returned, only this time, sharper and longer than before. Wincing, she swallowed thickly, hoping it wasn't anything serious._

_Another stab of pain shot through her, causing her to cry out briefly. She fell against the dresser as she heard her mother call out to her. Her eyes widened as she felt something wet between her legs, on the inside of her thigh._

_With shaking hands, she pressed the tips of her fingers to the top of the inside of her thigh, feeling the thick wet patch on her jeans. Pulling her hand away, she turned it over, letting a choked sob go when she saw the blood on her fingers._

_She screamed as pain tore through her abdomen, her legs giving out underneath her. Quick footsteps were approaching from the front of the house as she doubled over on the floor, gritting her teeth in pain. As her mother entered the room and collapsed to her knees in front of her, JJ lifted her face, her terror not hidden at all in her bright blue eyes. Her face was pale, desperate, and evident of the excruciating twisting pain she was feeling inside. As tears streamed from her desperate eyes, she managed to choke out five words._

"_I can't lose this baby!"_

* * *

After getting JJ to the hospital, Sandy had asked JJ in one of the less painful moments if there was anywhere Henry could go until everything was sorted out. JJ had told her through gritted teeth to call Hotch.

So now Henry was with Hotch, Beth, and Jack, while Sandy sat beside her daughter's bed.

JJ was sleeping, her pale face finally at ease after a long eight hours. She was curled on her side, her arms wrapped protectively around her stomach.

"_You're still pregnant," Dr Grayson said warmly, a smile touching his eyes. JJ stared at him incredulously._

"_How is that...?" she trailed off._

"_What you underwent is something called Vanishing Twin Syndrome. The miscarriage of one embryo, while the other remains viable and healthy," Grayson explained. JJ's eyes widened._

"_I was having twins?" she asked, shocked. Grayson nodded._

"_However, what happened was your body decided one of the embryos wasn't fit to carry to term. There's no reason, however, to believe that you won't carry the other baby to term"_

Reaching up, Sandy gently brushed JJ's hair out of her eyes. The light movement caused JJ to stir, lifting her head slightly as she opened her eyes.

"Mom?" she asked groggily.

"I'm right here, Jen. How are you feeling?" Sandy replied softly.

"I'm ok...a little confused," JJ admitted. Pushing herself up, she sat cross legged in the middle of the bed, one hand resting on her stomach. "I don't know whether to be upset about losing a baby or happy that I still have this one"

Sandy placed her hand over JJ's as she slid up beside her daughter. "The doctor said that was normal, Jen. It's alright to feel that way"

"But at the same time, I'm more upset that I lost one...because it was a part of Will. I just...I want Will," JJ whispered. Sandy put her arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"I know you do, hon. And I wish that he could be here, I really do. I wish I could take away your pain"

JJ looked up at her mother, her blue eyes bright. "Thank you for everything. I wouldn't have gotten this far without you by my side"

Sandy smiled. "You're going to be fine"

* * *

Henry, having needed to stay the night at Hotch's, finished brushing his teeth beside Jack, and then went to find Beth. Spying her standing at the kitchen sink, he went over to her and tugged on her sleeve.

"Miss Beth?" he asked sweetly. Beth smiled, kneeling down to be at his height.

"What do you need, sweetie?" she replied.

"Can I have a candle?"

The question took Beth by surprise. "A candle? What for?"

"I need to talk to Daddy," Henry explained softly. His reply gave Hotch a little reminder. Grabbing three candles, he handed one to Beth, before moving through the house to Jack's room.

Beth carefully lit the candle, before taking Henry's hand and leading him outside. "Is it ok out here?" she asked. Henry nodded, reaching for the candle.

Sitting down on the patio steps, Beth pulled Henry into her lap, and kept her hands over his just in case. She listened with tears in her eyes as Henry told his dad about how Mommy had gotten sick and had to go to the hospital, and about all the things he'd done with Jack.

"Night night Daddy. Don't let the bed bugs bite...I yuv you," Henry finished, blowing out the candle. Beth smiled, taking it from his hand.

"Better?" she asked. Henry smiled, nodding, Taking her hand, he followed her as she led him to Jack's room, where Hotch was tucking Jack into bed. Helping Henry up onto the camp stretcher they'd set up for him, she tucked him into his sleeping bag.

"Night boys," the two adults said simultaneously as they left the room.

"Night," the boys chimed together, snuggling under their covers as the door was closed.

* * *

Hotch shuffled down the hallway, heading towards the kitchen for a glass of water. As he passed Jack's room, he heard the muffled, but unmistakeable sound of a child crying.

Reaching out, he gently opened the door, allowing light from the hallway to flood in. Seeing that Jack was still fast asleep, he looked over to where Henry was lying. Even in the dim light, he could see the tears running down the little boy's face.

"Hey Henry...what's wrong?" he asked softly, approaching the stretcher.

"I want my Daddy," Henry sniffed.

Leaning down, Hotch easily lifted Henry up, carrying him to the kitchen. Sitting him down at the table, he poured some milk into a mug and put it in the microwave. Running a glass of water, he set that down on the table before retrieving the now warm milk, and handing it to Henry.

"Tank you," Henry said softly, wrapping his little hands around the mug as best he could. He looked up at Hotch, who was sitting directly across from him. Giggling, he copied Hotch's position, folding his arms across each other and putting them on the edge of the table. Hotch shifted positions without realising what Henry was doing, picking up his glass and taking a sip. He cocked an eyebrow as Henry did the same. Grinning, he put the glass down and crossed his arms over his chest.

Henry copied him, giggling as he did.

"Alright Mr LaMontagne, you've got me there," Hotch laughed.

"I not a mister La'tane!" Henry giggled, his long blonde hair falling over his bright blue eyes.

"I think you are. You're a boy, and your last name is LaMontagne," Hotch explained, poking Henry's chest lightly. "That makes you Mr LaMontagne"

Henry laughed. "Ok"

Hotch grinned. Picking up the now empty glass and mug, he carried them over to the sink. Taking Henry's hand, he led the little boy back to the camp stretcher in Jack's room, tucking him in to the sleeping bag.

"Goodnight Henry," he said softly. Henry yawned widely.

"Night...Uncle Aar'n..."

* * *

"_Daddy, why can't you stay?" Henry asked softly, patting his father's cheek. Will smiled warmly, pressing a kiss to his son's forehead._

"_I have to go, but remember, I'm always with you," he said softly. "Give your momma a kiss for me"_

Henry's little eyes flew open, trying to focus on the darkness of the room. As he remembered what his daddy had just told him to do, he slid out from beneath the covers, his tiny feet touching the soft carpet.

Padding out of his room and down the hallway to Mommy's room, he slipped inside, approaching the edge of the bed.

Reaching up, he gently pulled on JJ's arm. "Mommy"

JJ groaned, rubbing her eyes as she lifted her head from the pillow. "What?"

Henry beckoned for her to come closer. When she leaned towards him, he stretched up on his toes and kissed her cheek. "From Daddy"

JJ stared at her son for a moment before a smile crossed her face. "Come here buddy," she said softly. Henry climbed up onto the mattress, sliding beneath the covers. Snuggling into the safety of JJ's arms, he drifted off to sleep.

JJ kissed his little forehead, brushing his hair away from his sleeping eyes. "I love you, Henry. Don't ever forget that"


	23. Chapter 23

_A/N: I apologise profusely for that long break. This chapter may seem to spin out of control and change direction very rapidly, but I promise you, I know what I'm doing._

_Just a little something I feel you guys should know._

_When I was in the fifth grade, one of my friend's little sister, Shannon, was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukaemia. She was six years old. APL is a difficult type of cancer to fight; if any of you have read My Sister's Keeper, you will know why. Once you have used a treatment, it cannot be used again, because the body will reject it._

_Shannon fought a tough battle, and was in remission by the end of the year. All looked well. She was coming to school, playing with friends, having a good time. Halfway through the next year, she went into molecular relapse; the physical symptoms didn't present, but inside, the cancer cells had steamrolled the progress made. She was given another round of chemotherapy, which seems to be the only treatment the APL can't exhaust. Back into remission Shannon went._

_The next couple of years passed. Towards the end of ninth grade, one of my other friends told me that Shannon had relapsed and required a bone marrow transplant. She had the BMT and spent six weeks in isolation...over Christmas. By this time, Shannon was ten. The other day, my mum said that Shannon had gotten really sick again around the beginning of September. She'd been admitted to PMH, but there was nothing the doctors could do, and they've sent her home until the end._

_Shannon is twelve years old, and she's fought a five year battle. Inevitably, she will die. I'm not sure how much longer she has left, but it's not a long time. Shannon probably won't see Christmas. Their family has struggled. Her mother is a single mother, and her older brother, my friend, is autistic. Everyone loves their family to pieces._

_If I suddenly stop updating this again, the story has hit close to home because of the circumstances outside. But I won't abandon it. If I take another long gap like I did just now, assume that heaven has gained an angel._

_Shannon, we love you_

_Disclaimer: I don't own CM._

_**I dedicate this story to Shannon, a true fighter if there ever was one. A beautiful little girl who has never stopped smiling no matter what happens.**_

* * *

Looking into Henry's bedroom, Sandy was surprised to find his bed empty, especially because the house was completely silent.

If Henry was awake, everyone knew.

Looking into the nearby bathroom, she found it silent and empty, just like his bedroom.

Having a vague idea of where to find the little man, she trudged to the back of the house. Reaching JJ's slightly ajar bedroom door, she gently pushed it open, poking her head into the room. A smile reached her eyes as she took in the sight before her.

JJ was sprawled out on her back, one hand resting lightly over Will's wedding ring, the other across her stomach, as best as she could manage.

Also in the bed was Henry. He was lying across the bed, using JJ's stomach as a pillow, his blonde hair falling across his eyes.

As Sandy turned to leave the room, Henry stirred, lifting his head up as he rubbed his eyes. "Nana?"

"Sh, don't wake up Mommy," Sandy whispered, stepping over to the side of the bed. Leaning over, she lifted Henry up over JJ and onto her hip. As soon as Henry was out of the bed, JJ shifted, curling up on her side.

Closing the door behind her, Sandy carried Henry into the kitchen, setting him down at the table. "What would Master Henry like for breakfast?"

Henry giggled, brushing his hair back from his face. "Scrambled eggs?" he asked sweetly.

"I think I can do that," Sandy laughed, moving to the fridge to grab milk and eggs. Henry jumped down from the table, going into the lounge room to get his colouring book and crayons. Carrying them back to the table, he climbed back up onto the chair and entertained himself with colouring until his breakfast was ready.

* * *

JJ opened her eyes to find the room filled with bright sunlight. Blinking a few times, she looked around the room as she slowly woke up, before realising that Henry was gone.

She remembered him coming in in the middle of the night to give her a kiss from Will.

Looking over at the clock, she was surprised to discover it was past 10:30.

Reaching down towards her stomach, she gently caressed the small bump that was beginning to show, smiling a little as she thought of how in 8 months time, Henry would be a big brother.

Flinging the covers back, she got up out of bed and slowly walked down the hallway. Henry and Sandy's voices floated towards her as she approached the lounge room. Henry was giggling, and Sandy was laughing.

Stepping into the archway, she found Henry and Sandy playing with Henry's cars.

"You let me sleep in," she stated simply. Sandy looked up, smiling.

"Mommy!" Henry said happily, jumping up and running to her. JJ lifted him up, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek.

"I think you've needed a little extra sleep. It didn't hurt anyone to let you stay in bed, did it?" Sandy chimed. JJ smiled softly.

"I guess not," she said, letting Henry back down onto his feet.

"Come play," Henry said, tugging on her wrist. JJ let him pull her into the room, sitting down between him and her mother. She smiled as Henry passed her car after car, babbling away as he told her all about them.

"Mommy, this one my Daddy car," Henry said softly, holding up one. JJ focused on the car he was holding, realising it was a sheriff's style model.

"Why's that, baby boy?"

"'Cause they the police, they get the bad guys. Daddy got the bad guys too," Henry explained simply, pressing it into JJ's palm. JJ bit her lip, smiling a little as she closed her fingers around the item.

"He sure did, baby"

* * *

"_We're gonna have a baby...," Will whispered in disbelief, the palm of his hand resting on JJ's slightly rounded belly. She smiled up at him, her eyes filled with loving, open honesty._

_He had flown to DC as soon as she had broken the news to him. Now they lay together, bathed in the moonlight streaming through the window, having celebrated JJ's news in the same fashion that caused the news to exist._

"_I love you so much it hurts," Will said softly, leaning down and pressing a kiss to JJ's swollen lips. JJ wrapped her arms around his neck, tangling her fingers through his hair. As the kiss deepened, she lifted her legs around his muscled waist, opening her most intimate area as an invitation for him to start round two._

* * *

Curled up on her couch with her favourite Kurt Vonnegut book, Emily blocked out the sounds of the thunder booming through the sky. The driving rain was streaming down the window, making Emily feel quite cosy as she sat in the warmth of her condo.

A knock on the door brought her out of her book. Frowning slightly, Emily pushed herself of of the couch and moved to the door; she wasn't expecting anyone today.

Pulling the door open, she was pleasantly surprised to find JJ standing on the doorstep.

"JJ," she stated, her surprise obvious. "Hi"

JJ smiled softly, though it never reached her eyes, her arms wrapped protectively over her stomach. Her thin frame, pale skin, and the lingering sadness in her eyes gave off a look of incredible vulnerability.

"Hi," JJ said quietly. "Sorry for just showing up like this-"

"It's fine, Jayje. Come in," Emily replied, stepping aside and allowing JJ to enter. "Would you like something to drink?" she offered. JJ shook her head, continuing towards the lounge area.

As they sat down on the couch, Emily drew in a breath. She wasn't sure how to start a conversation with a close friend who was obviously emotionally broken.

"So...how are you?" she asked hesitantly, her voice soft. JJ looked up, catching her eye.

"I'm...ok. Not great...but ok," she replied truthfully.

There was a short silence before JJ took a deep breath. "Actually...I came because there's something else going on and I need to talk to someone other than my mom"

Emily frowned slightly, moving closer to her friend. "What?" she asked softly.

JJ's hand came to rest on her stomach. There was no way Emily would've been able to notice the bump...but since discovering the pregnancy, placing her hand there was a subconscious reaction that she couldn't shake. Just like when she found out about Henry.

"I'm pregnant," she said softly, so soft that her voice was almost inaudible.

Emily's eyes widened, her heart breaking as she gently took JJ's hand in hers. "Jayje...how long have you known?"

"I found out about a month ago...I know when it happened too...," JJ replied, looking up. For once, she thought, there were no tears in her eyes. She was physically and mentally exhausted.

"JJ...," Emily started, but not knowing what to say, she trailed off.

"It's ok...I was pretty...scared...when I found out, but I guess I've come to terms with it now," JJ admitted. Emily could feel her heart tearing for her friend. JJ could put up as big a front as she liked, no matter how convincing, but Emily could still see the pain in her friend's eyes. The loneliness.

"Anything you need, JJ...anything at all, you just ask, ok?" she said firmly. JJ nodded, a small smile managing to show through.

"Thank you"

* * *

JJ pinched the bridge of her nose as she closed the front door behind her. The rain was still coming down thick and fast outside, but that didn't stop her from having a huge headache.

Today had been an ok day. JJ had found herself judging each and every day according to what had happened, and had quickly realised that she was verging closely on depression.

"Where have you been?" Sandy's voice cut through the silence, shrill and sharp. "You were gone for hours!"

"I told you I was going to Emily's," JJ said bluntly, dropping her car keys on the hall table and brushing past her mother. Her headache was having a drastic effect on her mood; she was in no way bothered to listen to her mother worrying.

"No, you didn't, Jen, and I was worried sick that you'd gone and done something reckless!" Sandy replied exasperatedly. "I thought you weren't going to come home!"

"Why don't you give me a curfew then, just like you did when I was fourteen?" JJ replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"It's not that...it's the fact that...I thought you'd...," Sandy struggled, unable to find the right words.

In reality, she _had_ thought that JJ had done something reckless; reckless meaning suicidal. She hadn't thought JJ had been that bad in recent days, but as soon as she'd been gone for a while, Sandy had begun to worry.

JJ whirled around, drawing in a deep breath. "Is that how you think of me right now? Some self destructive mental case?!"

Sandy looked shocked. "No, that's not what I was saying-!"

"Really? Because it sure as hell sounded like it! You thought I'd gone and jumped off a bridge or something!" JJ snapped, completely oblivious to the fact that Henry had just entered the room.

"Jen, I worry about you because you're not yourself anymore! I just want you to be able to get your life back together-!"

"Get my life back together? I just lost my husband, Mom! He was the only man I ever loved, the only man who ever loved me back, and now he's gone!"

Sandy grabbed JJ's hands, holding them in her own as she looked into her daughter's tear filled blue eyes. "Jen, I know how you feel, I went through exactly the same thing when your father died-!"

"Except when Dad died, you spent a whole year moping around and feeling sorry for yourself! It's been less than two months since Will died and you're already trying to get me to stop grieving!"

"I'm not trying to stop you from grieving, you need to grieve, Jen! I'm trying to help you-!"

"I don't need you hovering over me every second, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!"

"You think you are, but right now, you're not!"

"YES, I AM!" JJ yelled, her expression filled with anger and frustration.

Letting go of JJ's hands, Sandy pulled away, throwing her arms out to the side. "Fine! You don't want me here anymore, then I'll get out of your way!"

"Fine! I don't care! Just leave!" JJ exclaimed angrily as she stormed to the back of the house, slamming the bedroom door so hard that the windows shook slightly.

Sinking to the floor against the door, she let her tears go; tears of anger, frustration, and sadness.

She'd snapped.

* * *

Henry slid off the couch, little tears running down his face. It was dark. Thunder was booming overhead as lightning cracked through the sky, illuminating the room every now and then.

His nana had left ages ago with her suitcase, and she hadn't come back. And now Henry was getting scared.

Making his way to Mommy's bedroom, he reached up and tried to turn the handle, but found that it was locked.

"Mommy?" he called out in a tiny voice. Flattening his hand, he hit it against the door a couple of times, but heard nothing from within.

"Mommy, I scared!" he called again, his voice choking up with tears. Hitting the door again, more tears fell. "Mommy!"

* * *

Night had fallen. The moon was up, and the rain was still coming down in gusty, ice cold sheets. Henry's tummy was rumbling, and JJ still hadn't come out of the bedroom. Henry had been calling out to her for over an hour, and still had no answer.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," Henry called through the door. When there came no answer, he drew in a deep breath. "MOMMY!"

Finally, after what had felt like forever for little Henry, the door opened, and JJ came into the hallway, scooping Henry into her arms.

"Baby boy, I'm sorry...it's ok," she said softly, tears evident in her voice. Henry clutched to her tightly, not caring that she was a mess.

"I was scared, Mommy," he whimpered.

"I know, baby boy, and I'm so sorry," JJ whispered, kissing her little boy's temple.

As Henry clung on to his mom, there was something he failed to notice, as most almost five year olds probably would miss.

He failed to notice the faint trickle of blood on his mother's forearm.


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: Short, and it may feel a bit rushed, but that's ok._

_Disclaimer: I don't own CM._

* * *

Two cuts turned into four, which progressed to eight. Within four days, JJ had pretty much spiralled downwards.

Sitting on the floor of the shower after Henry had gone to bed, JJ had made a tiny, shallow cut on her forearm. Holding it under the stream of water, she watched as the faint pink water swirled down the drain.

Deep down, she knew that she was getting worse.

She knew that she needed help. She needed help dealing with her pain over Will's death, the pain of having to bring a child into the world who would never know his or her father.

She needed help before she completely lost control.

* * *

"Mommy, you're bleeding!" was the first thing Henry said when JJ came into the kitchen, having gotten dressed and tied her hair back. At least today, she felt half human.

"I know," JJ said softly, sitting down in the chair next to his.

Much like a monkey, Henry climbed from his chair into JJ's lap, leaning back against her. Placing his hand on her arm, he looked at the thin cut that was the source of the blood.

"You got an ouchie," Henry said quietly, turning his head and looking up at his mom. JJ nodded slightly, kissing the top of Henry's head.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Why you sad always?" Henry asked innocently.

"Because I miss your daddy so much," JJ replied, brushing his blonde hair back from his eyes. Henry looked sad for a minute, averting his eyes down.

"I miss him too," he told her, just before there was a knock on the door. JJ kissed his head again, lifting him back onto his chair, before going to answer the door.

JJ smiled slightly as she opened the door to find Spencer on the doorstep. "Spence, hi"

"Hi, JJ," Spencer replied softly. JJ stepped aside to allow him in, closing the door behind her.

"How have you been?" Spencer asked warmly. JJ shrugged.

"Day by day," was her only reply.

"Uncle 'Pence!" Henry shrieked, running to his godfather. Spencer broke into a huge grin, swinging the little boy up onto his hip.

"Hi there little man. How are you today?" he asked, in a very formal voice that made Henry giggle. JJ smiled, moving back into the kitchen.

"I good, Uncle 'Pence. But Mommy has an ouchie," Henry informed him, pouting slightly.

"That's not too good, is it?" Spencer chuckled, moving towards the kitchen.

"Do you want a coffee, Spence?" JJ asked.

"Coffee would be great, thanks, JJ," Spencer called back. Putting Henry down, he walked into the kitchen, Henry right behind him.

Walking over to stand beside JJ, he opened his mouth to speak as she reached up to grab two mugs.

Surprising JJ, Spencer reached out in a flash and grabbed her wrist.

"JJ...what's that?" he asked softly, pointing towards the three thin red cuts on her forearm. JJ dropped her gaze, the shame evident on her face.

Turning around, Spencer knelt down in front of Henry. "Buddy, can you go and watch Spongebob for me? I want to know what happens," he asked. Henry nodded happily, practically skipping into the lounge room to put on a Spongebob DVD.

Standing up again, Spencer turned back to JJ. "JJ...what's going on? _How long_ has it been going on?"

JJ looked up at him, her eyes growing awfully bright. "About four days...it's so hard without Will...the other day, I completely snapped at my mom and made her go home. Then I locked myself in my room, and I didn't even think about Henry...he was outside the door, crying, calling out for me. I'm such a terrible mother for doing that...I'm a mess, Spence," she choked out, tears slipping out and running down her cheeks. Spencer placed one hand on her shoulder, tipping her chin up slightly with his other hand.

"JJ, you are not a terrible mother. Henry couldn't have a better mother if he asked for one. Sometimes, yes, it does get really difficult, and the other day, your emotion got the better of you. But Henry seems to have forgotten about it. It's only been two months since Will died, JJ, it's hard on both of you. But please...JJ, please, don't hurt yourself. I've been on that end. I hurt myself for such a long time by taking Dilaudid. I was a physical and emotional wreck, and I don't want to see you end up the same way. Please, JJ, for me...don't hurt yourself again," Spencer begged softly. The pain in his voice broke JJ's heart.

JJ struggled to find the words she needed to answer Spencer. He looked so heartbroken...so scared for her.

"I promise," she whispered as Spencer pulled her into a gentle hug.

This was a promise she couldn't break. Because she couldn't possibly cause her best friend more pain than he'd already felt in his lifetime.


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N: Another shortish one. Next one should be up within four days._

_Disclaimer: I don't own CM._

* * *

Curled up in the window seat, JJ pressed the phone to her ear. It had been nearly a week since Spencer had discovered the cuts on her arms, and so far, she'd kept her promise to him.

Every time she'd felt like cutting was the only option, Spencer's heartbroken eyes had flashed into her mind, and she hadn't been able to bring herself to do it. She couldn't hurt him like that.

Now she was going to try and piece things back together with her mom.

"Hello?" a deep familiar voice asked. JJ's eyes widened.

"Chris?"

Her brother. Her older brother, her protector, who had served a year in Afghanistan. JJ had missed him so much, and had always worried that something would go wrong overseas. In all the drama, she'd forgotten that his squadron was returning home.

"Jenny, is that you?" Chris replied, his voice filled with elation.

"Yes! Chris, oh my god, you're home!" JJ said excitedly, the first time she'd felt the tiniest bit of happiness since Will had passed away. Her eyes began to fill with tears of happiness.

"I sure am, midget," Chris laughed, using the nickname he'd coined back when JJ was five. She'd always been small. "How have you been?"

JJ opened her mouth to speak, but quickly closed it, unsure what to say; she could tell him the truth and ruin the joy of him being home, or lie and bottle it all up again.

Either way, she needed to get Sandy on the phone.

"Uh...I'm ok-"

"Not so fast, midget. What's the matter?" Chris asked softly, genuine concern for his sister made obvious even through the phone.

"Did Mom tell you what happened?" JJ replied quietly.

"I'm only bunking here until I can be bothered to fly back to New York. Free catch up and gossip wasn't included in that offer," Chris teased. Upon hearing JJ's silence, he realised that there was actually something wrong.

"Jen?"

"You remember Will, right?"

"Yeah, course I do. I always liked him. Why?" Chris started. "Wait...if he walked out on you and Henry, heads will roll"

JJ swallowed thickly. "No...Chris, he was diagnosed with leukaemia earlier in the year...he died just over two months ago"

Chris gasped audibly. "Jesus, Jen, why didn't Mom tell me that? Oh my god...Jen, I'm so sorry. If I was there, I'd be giving you the biggest hug right now"

JJ half laughed, choking back her tears. "You always were a softie"

"Jen...I don't even know what to say," Chris breathed, his shock evident.

"It's alright...I'm coping," JJ lied. "Is Mom there?"

"Uh...yeah, I'll just get her," Chris replied absently. JJ listened as he located Sandy and asked her why she hadn't said anything about Will. The rest of their short conversation was muffled, and then Sandy picked up the phone.

"Jen?"

"Hey Mom," JJ said lightly, her voice shaking. Things were still tense after the argument they'd had; JJ could sense it.

"Hi," Sandy replied uncertainly.

Taking a deep breath, JJ's apology tumbled from her lips. "Mom, I'm so sorry about last week...I didn't mean to yell at you like that"

Sandy sighed. "It's ok-"

"No, it's not. You're my mom, and I disrespected you. That's not ok," JJ cut in. "I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry for accusing you of being mentally unstable. That wasn't right, and you're not. You're my little girl," Sandy replied, her voice much softer than before.

"I need you to come back to DC," JJ admitted in a tiny voice.

"Why? I thought you didn't need any help," Sandy said, obviously confused.

JJ wiped at the tears making tracks down her cheeks. "I do. I need so much help. I can't cope with the pain I'm feeling everyday, and...," she faltered, losing her voice at the most important point. Swallowing heavily, she forced out the three words she desperately needed her mother to know, even if they were only in whispers. "I cut myself"

Sandy felt her heart break as her hand went over her mouth. Chris was watching her from the kitchen, furrowing his eyebrows and giving her a look as if to say _'What?'_.

"Jen...why?"

"Because it felt like the only way out. I did it almost straight after you left. Henry noticed. Spencer knows. And I'm so scared of being here, with just Henry, in case I lose it and do something drastic," JJ sobbed softly into the phone.

"Jen, you will get through this, ok? I know it's hard without Will, but you will move on from this...and Chris and I will be there by your side until you're ready for us to leave, ok?" Sandy said softly.

JJ choked back her tears, wiping away the ones that had escaped. "Ok. I love you guys"

"We love you too"

* * *

The very first thing Sandy did when JJ opened the door was throw her arms around her daughter and hug her tightly. JJ let loose the tears she'd been holding back, burying her face in her mother's shoulder.

"You haven't been eating properly, Jen. You have a baby depending on you, you need to take care of yourself," Sandy whispered in her ear. Pulling back, she gently slid JJ's sleeves up, taking in the nine cuts lining JJ's forearms. Older ones were pale, while the newer ones were still red.

"Oh, my girl," Sandy breathed, pulling JJ back into another hug.

Chris stepped up beside them as Sandy pulled away, pulling his sister into a tight hug that made her feel safe. It made her feel protected.

"Don't hurt yourself, kiddo. We all love you too much," he said softly, keeping an arm around her shoulders as they went inside.

"Nana! You back!" Henry squealed happily, running to his grandmother.

"I sure am, monster!" Sandy laughed, scooping him up into a hug. Henry giggled as she kissed the tip of his nose. Looking over her shoulder, he let out a little gasp.

"Uncle C'is!" he cried, squirming to get down. Sandy and JJ watched as he ran to his uncle, jumping up and down and reaching up to get Chris to pick him up.

"Hey mini midget, you remember me!" Chris laughed, swinging his nephew up to his hip.

"Uh huh," Henry nodded happily.

Turning away, JJ walked into the kitchen, only to be followed by Sandy. As she leant back against the kitchen counter, Sandy took her daughter's thin wrist into her hand, running her fingertips over the scars. Looking up, she let go, pulling JJ into a prolonged hug.

"You're a bit of a mess, yeah?" she asked lightly in JJ's ear.

"Pretty much," JJ replied softly.

"Don't worry. We'll get you sorted out. You just need some help. A little less responsibility and more company will do you some good," Sandy explained. Kissing JJ's temple, like she always had when JJ was a child, she held her daughter close, offering the comfort she needed.


	26. Chapter 26

_A/N: Thank you so much to all those who nominated 'Safe & Sound' for Best Angst in the Profiler's Choice Awards on Chit Chat on Author's Corner. It made the final voting ballot, and I'm off to fill in my votes now. If you want us (yes, us!) to win, you better head over there and vote as well._

_This isn't a one man show. All of you have motivated me so much to write this, despite the difficult subject matter, and for that reason, we are a team. Should we win, it's a group effort, a team award._

_I love you all._

_Disclaimer: I don't own CM._

* * *

Her eyes drifted open to darkness. JJ found herself completely tangled in the sheets of her bed, and quickly kicked her way out of it.

With gentle circles, she caressed the growing bump, praying for the day when the baby would kick, just so she would know he or she was healthy and ok. Her mother had practically force fed her, until JJ had realised that not only was she making herself unwell by not eating, she was hurting the baby too.

As she woke up more, despite the early hours, she was overcome with a sensation she hadn't really felt in a while.

Desire.

Lust.

Need.

Very slowly, she inched the hand on her bump further down, sliding beneath the waistband of her cotton sleep shorts. Her other hand moved under her shirt, coming to rest over her very tender and sensitive breasts.

Slender fingers stroked her most tender area. Her breath hitched in her throat as her fingertips applied the tiniest amount of pressure to the most sensitive part of her body.

"_Will...oh god...uh," JJ gasped breathlessly as Will's talented fingers built her up and brought her ever closer. His face hovered above hers, one hand between their naked bodies, touching her, loving her. _

"_Go on, JayJay. Let go," he whispered, his Southern drawl floating to her ears. One last stroke and JJ was spiralling out of control. Pleasure exploded through her body, sending shockwaves of bliss to the tips of her fingers and toes._

Dipping under the band of her panties, JJ dragged her fingers over her pearl, letting out a sharp gasp. Her strokes steadily got faster as her hips bucked up into her hand. Her muscles clenched as her climax began to build. Her fingers pulled, pinched, and stroked her nipples, her breathing getting irregular and fast.

"_I've always wanted to make love under the stars," JJ whispered in Will's ear as he gently kissed her neck. Lying on her back on the soft blanket that was spread over the grass of their backyard, stars littered the night sky._

"_Tonight, my darlin', you will," Will murmured against her skin as he began kissing a trail down towards her breasts._

And just like that, she fell over the edge, biting her tongue to stop from crying out, so hard that she could taste blood.

As she caught her breath, coming back down from her high, tears spilled over as she pulled herself out of bed and into the bathroom. Leaning over the sink, she spat blood into the basin, before taking a mouthful of water and rinsing her mouth.

She missed Will so much, it hurt.

* * *

Chris knocked gently on his sister's bedroom door, pushing it open just an inch so he could call out to her.

"Jen. You decent?" he teased lightly. The door was gently pulled from his grasp, revealing JJ in front of him, a small smile on the corners of her mouth.

"Hey," she said softly. "Where's Mom and Henry?"

"Oh, Henry wanted ice-cream, so Mom took him out to get it," Chris reported. "Why don't we go for a walk?"

"Sure"

Five minutes later, with the house locked up behind them, JJ and Chris were walking side by side down the road. JJ was awfully quiet, her eyes cast down towards the sidewalk as they walked in sync.

"Let's go over here," Chris said softly, pointing across the road to a small empty park. JJ followed his lead, walking slightly behind him as they crossed the street and walked down the slight incline to a shaded park bench. She noticed that it reflected her childhood; as a little girl, she had literally followed her brother's footsteps everywhere he went.

Sitting down beside her brother, JJ pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them. Chris was watching her with concern, wanting to take away his little sister's pain.

"Jen...you know I would've come straight home if I'd known about Will," he said softly. JJ lifted her head, turning to her brother and nodding.

"I know"

JJ shifted slightly, her sleeves riding up her arms. Chris felt a wave of sadness wash over him as he saw the scars on her forearms. Sandy had told him that JJ had cut herself, but he hadn't seen the scars.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself. I hate seeing you so upset," he said quietly. JJ looked at her brother, her inner profiler immediately spotting the pain and guilt in his eyes. Reaching out, she took her brother's hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Chris...it's not your fault-"

"I'm your big brother, Jen. I'm supposed to protect you," Chris cut in. JJ couldn't find the words to say; in a way, he was right. He had always been her biggest protector until Will came along. And after she'd met Will, he made it clear that he was still looking out for her all the time.

"This wasn't something you could protect me from. It wasn't something that came at us; it came from inside. To put it simply, once we found out, all hell broke loose," JJ muttered. Looking up at Chris, she took a deep breath.

"I miss him. Every second of every day, I wish he was still here," she told him. Chris nodded.

"Completely understandable-"

"And I'm pregnant with our second child," JJ blurted out. Chris froze in shock. He'd known about the cutting...but not that.

"Oh my god...," he murmured.

"Yeah...that was pretty much all that went through my mind too," JJ added.

"Jen, how are you still functioning? Most people would expect you to be an absolute emotional wreck right now"

"Henry. He keeps me sane. Having you and Mom in the house reminds me that I'm not alone. Every day I get a text message from at least two of my team members, asking me if I'm ok, if I need anything, that they're thinking of me, and that they miss me. Altogether, it reminds me that not everything I had in this world is gone," JJ admitted. Chris stood up, taking JJ's hands and pulling from the seat into a hug.

"You're not on your own, midget. Everybody loves you, and we're all looking out for you. I promise"

* * *

Stepping off the elevator, JJ walked towards the glass doors of the bullpen. Upon her mother's suggestion, she had decided to go and see the team, knowing that seeing them would make her feel a bit better.

On the other side of the doors, she could see Morgan, and the new agent, Alex Blake, lightly teasing Reid as they worked. Hotch and Rossi were standing outside Rossi's office door, deep in conversation, presumably over the open file in Hotch's hand.

Pushing open the glass door, JJ stepped inside the bullpen. Alex looked up, thinking she'd heard the door, and smiled widely to see the blonde she'd only been briefly introduced to a while back.

"JJ!" she said warmly, catching everyone's attention. JJ smiled softly, moving closer as Morgan stood up.

"Hey Pennsylvania," he said lightly, pulling his colleague into a hug. "How you holding up?"

"I'm ok. I missed you guys though," JJ admitted as Hotch and Rossi came down the steps.

Morgan smiled, but he could tell there was more to it than JJ let on. He'd noticed how thin she was when he hugged her, and he could see the pain in her eyes. But she had just lost her husband nearly three months ago; he wasn't about to call her out on it.

As everyone hugged JJ and made small talk, Morgan made a promise to himself that he would always stand by JJ, and he would make sure she wasn't in pain for the rest of her life.


	27. Chapter 27

_A/N: Hey guys! Please head over to Chit Chat on Author's Corner, look for FINAL BALLOT, and vote Safe & Sound for Best Angst! It would mean the absolute world to me! Voting closes Nov 30!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own CM!_

* * *

Lying on the examination table, JJ closed her eyes as the cool gel was spread across her baby bump. It was now starting to become more prominent; JJ knew she'd have to tell the team within the next few weeks.

Henry was perched on the stool beside her, watching with wide eyed childlike fascination as a picture of his little brother or sister appeared on the screen.

"There you go," the sonographer, Dr Martinez, said warmly, pointing to the screen. JJ looked up, immediately filled with a familiar feeling of amazement as she took in the sight of her little baby, starting to look more like a baby.

"Mommy, that the baby in your tummy?" Henry asked quietly. JJ had to smile as she brushed Henry's hair back from his face; he really needed a haircut.

"Sure is, baby boy," she replied.

"I'm not a baby 'nymore," Henry said defiantly. JJ and Dr Martinez laughed.

"Sorry buddy," JJ told him apologetically.

"Everything looks good, nice and healthy. You've been taking care of yourself as well?" Martinez asked, knowing a little bit about JJ's current emotional status.

JJ nodded. "I've been trying really hard. For Henry, and for the baby"

"That's great, JJ," Martinez said warmly. "Now, it's a little early to determine the sex, but within the next few weeks we should be able to..."

* * *

Sonograms developed and in an envelope, JJ led Henry out of the radiologist's building, holding his hand as they walked down the sidewalk.

"So, was that pretty cool?" JJ asked, looking down at Henry. Henry tipped his head back, nodding, a little smile on his face.

As they got closer to the car park, JJ felt a hard tug on her hand, coupled with the scratchy sound of shoes scraping over concrete. Whipping around as Henry burst into tears, she found him sprawled across the pavement.

"Oh buddy, up you get," she said softly, reaching down and helping him to his feet.

"I...hurt my...my knee," he sobbed. Glancing down, JJ noticed the nasty scrape on his knee. It was bleeding a fair bit, and looked like it hurt.

"It's ok, you're alright. Come here," she replied gently, picking him up and holding him on her hip. He buried his face in her shoulder, crying his tears of pain in Mommy's arms.

* * *

Carrying Henry inside, JJ carefully sat him down at the table. Kissing his forehead, she moved to the cupboard above the fridge, pulling down the first aid kit.

"Buddy, this is going to sting a little bit, ok?" she said softly, opening one of the alcohol wipes. As she pressed it against his knee, Henry cried out, pushing her hand away.

"No, Mommy! I want Daddy to do it!" he sobbed. JJ's heart skipped a beat, immediately recognising the signs of something she'd been waiting for since Will died; the onset of Henry's denial...the onset of the emotional trauma of Will's death.

"Henry, Daddy can't do it...Daddy's not here, remember?" she said gently.

"No!" Henry said firmly. As JJ pressed the wipe to his knee again, he kicked his foot up, clipping her in the shoulder.

"Henry!" JJ scolded, fixing her look on him that she only reserved for his bad behaviour.

"Stop, Mommy! Daddy fixes it better!" Henry cried. "I want Daddy to do it!"

Ignoring Henry's protests, JJ patched up his knee, the hot tears stinging her eyes at his words. When she was done, she reached up, pulling him into her lap.

"I know you miss your Daddy, baby boy...I know you do...but he can't come back. You know that he was very sick," she said tearfully in his ear. Henry clutched to her shirt, burying his face in her chest.

"I want Daddy back," he sobbed. JJ rubbed his back softly, kissing the top of his head as she tried to swallow back the tears threatening to completely spill.

"I want him back too, baby...I want him back too"

* * *

JJ stood with Henry as people milled around them, eager to get to their families, or to their flights. They were waiting for Emily to come back from checking in, and had found themselves in the middle of the usual throng that filled the airport terminal.

"Hey," Emily's voice cut through the noise. JJ smiled as she leant down and swung Henry up to her hip.

"I guess this is it, huh?" she said softly. Emily nodded sadly.

"I'll come back. I promise," she replied sincerely. Wrapping her arms around JJ, she pulled the two blondes into a tight hug. "You take care of yourself, ok?"

"I will," JJ whispered. As they pulled apart, Henry reached for Emily.

"Emmy!" he exclaimed. Emily and JJ laughed as Emily took him into her arms. Henry immediately wrapped his arms around her neck, hugging her.

"Aw Henry, are you gonna miss me?" Emily asked. Henry lifted his head, nodding.

"I will miss you lots, Emmy," he said softly. JJ smiled at her son, her hand resting over her heart.

"I'm going to miss you too, you little monster," Emily replied, tapping Henry's nose. Henry giggled.

As JJ took him back, Emily leaned down and picked up her bag.

"I'll call, email, write, text, play Scrabble, whatever. But I'll stay in touch," she said.

"And if you're not back when Henry's little brother or sister comes along, prepare to be bombarded with pictures from me and Garcia," JJ teased. Emily laughed.

"I'll miss you, Jayje," she said warmly.

"I already miss you," JJ replied softly.

They stood there, slightly numb, waving as Emily walked into the Departures hall and disappeared from view.

And then once again, they were alone as they turned and exited the airport to head for home.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I'm not sure if I already named JJ's sister in here. If I have, I'll change one of the mentions.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM.**

* * *

"_JayJay, I got it. I'm makin' dinner tonight," Will said gently, stepping in between JJ and the fridge. JJ smirked at him, cocking an eyebrow._

"_Will...I'm not going to break. Seriously, I let making the bed and doing the laundry slide, but cooking?"_

_Will smiled, his charm shining through. He knew JJ couldn't resist his smile. "I just don't want you to over exert yourself, cher. You've got a tiny bebe` growin' inside you"_

_JJ laughed, caving to his anxiety. Looping her arms up around his neck, she moved closer to him, pecking his lips._

"_You know, I do think it's adorable when you're fussing over me, worrying about our little monkey...but I'm cooking tonight," she said in a hushed voice. Will chuckled, moving his hands from her hips to around her waist. Pulling her closer, he pressed his lips to hers again, more passionately than before._

_Just like that, JJ was all over him._

"_Your hormones are gonna be the death o' me, JayJay," he managed to whisper as he moved them towards the kitchen counter. JJ giggled, kissing him again as he lifted her onto the countertop. Running her fingers through his hair, she deepened the kiss, her tongue seeking entrance to his mouth._

_Oh yes. Dinner could most definitely wait._

"You seem deep in thought over there," Sandy said softly as she served up dinner, breaking JJ from her thoughts. JJ blushed furiously, embarrassed that she'd allowed herself to think about that particular evening while her mother was in the room.

"I take it by the shade of red you just turned that it's best if I don't ask what you were thinking about?" Sandy teased. JJ nodded, making her mother laugh.

With perfect timing, Chris and Henry came tearing into the room as Sandy set the last plate down on the table. Chris had Henry scooped up in his arms, easily carrying the four year old high from the ground.

"Mommy!" Henry screeched, laughing as Chris swung him around before setting him down on his sneakered feet.

"Are you and Uncle Chris being silly?" JJ asked gently.

"No," Henry and Chris replied unanimously. Sandy laughed, shaking her head at her son and grandson.

Sliding into the chair next to JJ, Henry tapped her arm. "Mommy, I'm hungry. Can we eat?"

JJ chuckled, ruffling his hair. "Sure can buddy"

Dinner passed in comfortable silence. Once they'd all finished eating, JJ gave Henry an icy pole, and left him in the lounge room with a DVD of Spongebob.

As she was about to help her mother with the dishes, Chris grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the front window.

"Chris, what-?"

"Look," Chris said gently, climbing onto the window seat. JJ climbed up beside him, taking in the beautiful view outside.

In all the drama, all the problems she'd faced, JJ hadn't even noticed that the weather was cooling down.

And she hadn't noticed throughout the day that it was snowing. The front yard and the street were covered in a thin white blanket of pure white.

"_Move over so I can see! I wanna see! No fair, I wanna see!" JJ whined, tugging on her older siblings' shirts._

"_Shut up!"_

"_Jen, just shut up for five minutes, would you?" Tayla shot back. JJ pouted, folding her arms across her chest._

_Turning and running out of the room, she pounded down the stairs into the kitchen. At seven, she was definitely a lightweight, but everyone knew when she was going up or down the stairs._

"_Mom! Chris and Tayla told me to shut up! And they won't let me see out the window!" JJ whined, standing in the middle of the kitchen as her mother got out the things she needed to make dinner._

"_Mom! Did you hear me? I said-"_

_She was cut short by someone lifting her up from behind._

"_Hey! What are you doing?" she exclaimed, craning around to see that it was Chris carrying her up the stairs. "Chris, I can walk! I'm not a baby!"_

_Putting her down between him and Tayla in the window seat, he climbed up beside his siblings._

"_Woah," JJ breathed, placing her hands flat on the glass as she took in the sight of their street, buried under snow._

_Chris waited a couple of minutes before speaking._

"_And for the first time in her life, she actually shut up," he teased. Tayla laughed, while JJ elbowed him in the ribs._

"_It's so pretty," JJ whispered. Chris laughed, putting his arm around his little sister._

"_It sure is, midget, it sure is"_

"Remember that night when there was so much snow, the street was buried?" JJ asked softly, still gazing out the window to the snow beyond them.

"And Tayla and I were looking through the window, and you were standing behind us whining?" Chris teased. JJ bit back a grin.

"Yeah, I remember that night. Just so you know, Jen, you were a pain in the ass that night," he continued. JJ slapped his arm as he laughed.

Turning back to the window, she smiled.

She could sit forever and watch the snow fall.

* * *

"_Your nose is pink," Will laughed, wrapping his arms around JJ as best as he could when they were bundled up in snow gear. Leaning in, he pressed a light peck to the tip of her nose, making her giggle._

_Between them, bundled up against the cold weather, was baby Henry, warm and asleep in his mother's arms._

"_We should go, before it gets too cold for Henry," JJ said softly._

"_We should," Will affirmed. Putting an arm around her waist, they walked side by side from the park to their house, Henry still snuggled in the crook of JJ's arm._

_When they arrived home, Will took Henry to put him in his crib while JJ shed her thick coat._

_Hanging her coat up, JJ walked through the house until she found Will, in their bedroom removing his outer layers._

"_What do you say to 'warming up'?" she asked softly, her seductive tone catching his attention._

"_Now that's an idea I can't refuse," Will murmured in reply as he turned, catching her in his arms and kissing her deeply. Lowering her back onto the bed, they kissed with passion and ferocity._

_The afternoon was wasted away, making love while the snow fell outside, their body heat radiating around each other, their tender touches and kisses leaving invisible marks on their skin that they would never forget._


End file.
